A Life Less Frightening -OPEN-

[ica]

It was far too dark and too late to sleep. It had to be at least three in the morning, yet Icarus wandered the school halls for all that time before his feet dragged him right back to the drawing room for the fifth time that day. So he took that as a sign to stay. If all roads led to the same place then you could either stop on one of the roads and not continue onward or reach the destination. This must have been the destination. So Icarus slipped through the door and into the room, gazing around looking not quite like himself today. There was no smile on his face. His expression was completely blank and his eyes were rather wide. You could tell just by the way he walked that he seemed lost. But you can't get lost if you never planned out where you were going in the first place.

The room's lights were kept off. The colors were too bright for him in here sometimes and, at times like these, he was looking for something darker. Icarus shut the door behind him and walked into the room, running fingers over tables and the backs of chairs. Gloved fingers. Each touch sent a tingle of pain through his hands due to the deep cuts in them that were still healing from the other day. He glanced around, slowly wrapping his arms around himself. It wasn't quite pitch black. Not with the moon's light filtering through the windows. But certain corners of the room looked like nothing more than black holes. Darkness was never good. Icarus didn't mind it but you never knew what beasts could lurk there. Did anything actually hid in the shadows waiting for people to pass by?

Icarus's feet got him moving again and he found himself standing in one of those dark corners. He sat himself down, enveloping himself in the darkness as he tugged his legs right up close to his chest and pressed his chin against his knees. He stared blankly forward, watching the door and waiting. You never know when someone would come. But at least, after today, he could honestly say that monsters hid in the shadows. He was the monster hiding in the shadows tonight.

'Suffering from something we're not sure of in the world
There is no cure for these lives we live
Test negative for happiness
Flat line, no pulse, but eyes open
Single file like soldiers on a mission
If there's no war outside our heads, why are we losing?'

The words were a song, almost so quiet that it was a whisper, but loud enough to be sung and not just spoken. Only in places alone in the worst of times did Icarus sing. It calmed him. Whether he was afraid, angry or sad. All he had to do was lock himself away, think and sing something to himself. So, eyes on the door, he was singing to himself. All an attempt to stay calm and get happy again, but his hands were shaking. Tears stung at his eyes and slipped down his cheeks. The boy was just so afraid right now.

'I don't ask for much
Truth be told I'd settle
For a life less frightening
A life less frightening'

Icarus gave a soft whimper, burying his face against his knees as he clutched tighter at his legs. He didn't want to be here anymore. But it was three whole years that he was stuck here and he wasn't having any confidence toward whether he would even survive or not. Icarus had the thought stuck in his head that he would be dead within a month or two. Someone would kill him or there would be a slip of a knife and he would get himself killed.

This place was causing too much for him. It wasn't anything like back home. No one liked him back home really. He would scare people off, often on purpose, and that led to a lack of friends. He used people, murdered and sold everyone's secrets. But, after being sent to this detention facility, he wasn't allowed to do any of that. He couldn't do those things that made him Icarus. Is that why people here liked him? The Icarus here wasn't real. It couldn't be real. The Icarus that he was being was only making him confused. Especially when he dared to accept all these feelings people were bringing to his heart. All these warm fuzzy feelings of friendship and- what was it?- Love. He wanted it to go away. The friendship had to disappear. He couldn't trust anyone. The love had to go away. Love lead to broken hearts. Icarus had never loved before but even he was aware of that.

Icarus backed up farther in the corner, sniffling a little as he rubbed at his red, teary eyes and leaned against one of the corner's walls. At that moment, he wished the darkness would eat him. Just pull him right into the shadows. Icarus wanted to be a shadow. Shadows were nothing. Just mirrors of someone else that get stepped all over. That was no fun but, while he was here, he just wanted to go unnoticed like shadows too. Icarus took in a deep and shaky breath as he tried to be calm and continue the song. But the tears wouldn't stop.

'Hang me out to dry, I'm soaking with sins of knowing
What's gone wrong but doing nothing, I still run
Time again, I have found myself stuttering
Foundations pulled out from under me
The breath is wasted on them all
Will someone answer me?'

[Blake Riina Kildal]

Soft treads wandered the halls as the tiny girl drifted around, silent as a ghost. Her face was hollow and empty, her sweatshirt gone now that she was alone at this time. She was far too skinny, and it showed. However, there was one new thing, a dark color trailing down her arms. The cuts were horizontal, not vertical like she was prone to doing. They decorated her skin in macabre haphazard slashes from wrist to elbow. The blood was slow to flow and there were careless bandages wrapped around them, mostly just to soak up the blood than to actually do anything else.

Blue eyes were dull and closed off, taking in the black and whites of night time, enjoying the peace and quiet. Everyone was off sleeping, or doing what they supposed and she wandered, without purpose or point, just like she was during life. She would sleep at odd times, only for a few moments at most before she woke up again and began pacing.

Fingertips were bruised from relentless playing and now she couldn’t do much with them, or at least not play with them. The very tips were raw and cracked, looking like she’d been clawing at a locked door for the past week straight. She ignored the pain; it reminded her she was still alive. Hunger did not, for she did not feel it anymore, solely thirst. A necessity, she guessed. Food still made her nauseous.

She paused at the doors to the drawing room, tilting her head curiously and standing there completely motionless for a moment, an intelligently deadly look crossing over her features, like that of a predator calculating for prey. She’d heard faint sounds and wondered who it was or if she was imagining things like she was prone to do. Blake’s eyes were blank, carefully so, and many had likened her to a shark when she stood like this, silent, still, and waiting.

It was a look she got before she sprang into action, whether it be violent or inquisitive. It was hard to read and now the girl had no strength for being violent unless it was to herself. And even that bothered her. Frowning slightly and placing her small hands on the door and pushing open, silently, emerging from behind it with silent steps, like an apparition.

Eyes took in the room from the faint light allotted and skimmed over the corners, unable to penetrate the darkness there, ignoring the faint feeling of blood dripping down her fingers. She had no use for it, so why not let it go?

Brushing the hair from her face and leaving a faint smear on her cheek, she stepped further into the room, letting the door close behind her as she stepped to the side, deciding that no one else was here, and lowering her guard.

[ica]

Icarus's breath hitched and his voice stopped the moment the door was opened. Someone was there. Doors don't just open by themselves unless there was wind and the door was already partially opened in the first place. Someone had to be there. Sure enough, there stood a girl at the entrance. He wasn't all sure if he recognized the girl. The boy's memory was quite foggy for the time being and the room was very dark. Everything looked close to black, white and blue when the only light cast into the room was that from the moon. Maybe he did know her. Or perhaps she was a complete stranger. Icarus had to decide which of those she was. A stranger wasn't someone you should approach. But that had never stopped Icarus in the past.

The boy didn't wait very long. He got to his feet and moved quickly. A few swift steps and he was standing a good two meters in front of the girl, staring down at her with curiosity. She was only around two inches shorter than he was. So he didn't have to look down that greatly. Icarus took in the sight of the girl, from her blond hair, to her excessively thin figure and the look of her hands. That blood that was on her hands. And the dark smear across the girl's cheek that couldn't be anything but blood. Even in the dark, he knew what it was. You couldn't hide blood from Icarus, even if you were to dye it blue.

Though the boy had stopped his crying, his eyes were wet with the tears that had been there. Icarus licked his lips a little and was silent a moment as he watched the girl, tilting his head to the right just a bit. "Are you alright...?" he asked curiously, forgetting his own problems and wondering why on earth the girl would be bleeding. Especially from her fingers. If she were injured, shouldn't she go to the infirmary? Not the drawing room. Only Icarus ever went to the drawing room when he was bleeding, as far as he knew. The only reason he went there was for the sake of drawing with his own blood. "Do you want me to make the blood go away? I can't fix you... but I can make the blood disappear."