Splish Splash {open}

[Blake Riina Kildal]

Breathe.

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Breathe.

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Breathe.

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Flip
Push off the wall
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Breathe

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Breathe

The steady repetition of moving through the water was slowly emptying her mind into a dull noise, like static on the radio. It was a white noise, pounding out the thoughts from the day. She pushed herself, every time an unwanted thought entered her mind, she swam harder, pushing off with more force, chopping up the waves in the pool. She pushed herself in that state until the thought went away or she felt the burn, settling down to a sedate pace, just keeping on swimming. Lap after lap.

It wasn’t the same as her beloved ocean. She missed her shark friends that she had seen when they were babies and fed, they were nice to her; well as nice as a shark is. They were her only true friends, as cold and calculating as they were. Damn Margaret and her ways.

She scowled, messing up the turn then, distracted by her thoughts, pushing off to deep in the deep end of the pool. She blew out a stream of bubbles, instead deciding to sit in the water for a moment, hovering in the medium, not sinking nor floating up; neutrally buoyant. She was alone for the moment, holding her breath and wondering if this is what it was like to die, before she shook her head, kicking one, two, three times to break the surface, pulling in a few lung fulls of air, moving back to the wall, holding with one hand.

Gritting her teeth and ignoring the burn she was feeling, she pushed off underwater, kicking for a few beats until she broke surface.

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Breathe.

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Breathe

She found her rhythm again, falling into a comfortable pace that worked out, focusing on her pattern, the repetitions, the blissful emptiness. That was what she wanted, the emptiness that would keep her from breaking down and completely snapping. That was something she didn’t need to do, she had to hide it from everyone. She wasn’t scared of dying, no, she welcomed it, but others wouldn’t let her go. Why couldn’t they see she had no reason to live and had no reason to for a long time?

The white-hot anger surged and she stood up in the shallow end, tearing her goggles off and hurling them across the empty pool deck, breathing heavily and ignoring the salty tears that trailed down her face, mixing with the chlorine. She turned, leaning on the wall and staring out across the choppy pool, watching as it began to settle itself down again. Angrily she splashed some of the water, sending another wave of ripples that soon died out as the top of the pool became smooth once more, no shivers or memories that she’d been recently swimming.

Glaring out at the surface, she ducked under the water and pushed off, leaving her goggles wherever she had tossed them on the deck, holding her breath and seeing how far she could go. Maybe it was a suicide wish for her, maybe that’s why she was getting involved in more and more fights. She wanted to die, she didn’t know anything else. It was all she knew, was that she would have been better off dead, she was unwanted, just a common whore.

Blake didn’t know how she survived all these years, sometimes for weeks on end not going back to the house. Her biological father had been distant but made sure his daughter knew how to fight. She’d been schlepped between Hawaii and Maryland for a few years, her birth father teaching her how to fight, moves he had from the Marines. It was what made the tiny girl dangerous; she was fast, flexible, and knew how to fight properly.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the burning in her lungs. The idea of ignoring it crossed her mind and before she could decide, she found herself pushing to the surface and breaking it, somewhere in the middle of the pool where she couldn’t touch bottom (not that there were many places she could stand anyway). She began treading water, relaxing her breathing as she closed her eyes, floating on her back, thinking.

Maybe her approach wasn’t the best one, but so far it was working and she didn’t have much of a reason to change it. She really didn’t have any friends, romantic interests were a joke, and she had no true parents to speak of. The closest she had was Rowan, who was doing her job, and possibly Wren and Dis. But Dis had Era, so Blake withdrew. She wasn’t important and she knew it. Era could help Dis far more than she could, even as a ‘friend’. It was why she stayed away from him now. Wren couldn’t be helped, he was around for everyone. He had stopped her and she let him for now.

For now. It was an echo, a repeat that she had. Blinking her eyes open, she stared at the high ceiling and wondered, if she drowned herself, would anyone notice? The pool was empty, no sounds save for the slight echo of the water against the walls from her slight movements. They probably would when she failed to show up for classes and such, but would they think to look here? The pool was usually normally empty, not enough students enjoyed the pool, so she had chosen it, as a quiet haven.

Sitting up, she let herself float vertically in the water, blue eyes taking in her surroundings as she sank lower, covering her mouth and holding still, like the sharks that she watched and was fascinated with. She had long since learned to swim without a ripple to show that she was there and she waited silently, floating. If you looked quickly, you would miss her, as she slipped below the surface, hovering there silently, floating towards the bottom, holding her breath, just to see what she would do.

Here was pseudo-silence, quiet but not really. The water moved, breathed and the sound of another intruder could be heard. She loved where she was, but it wasn’t like her ocean, her precious ocean that she adored and missed, filled with the sounds of life. Life that went on and didn’t have the complications of humans. There were times she wished she’d been born a shark, that way she’d just have her own needs to worry about, be self-sufficient and all that.

Letting her lungs burn with lack of air, she waited a few beats longer before she pushed off with a few kicks, breaking the surface with a small splash, hoping she didn’t startle anyone else too badly.

[Dis Akhmet]

He didn't know if things were getting better or worse. In the last few days he had calmed down a little bit, at least when Era was there for him to focus on, but for the rest of the time he was still on edge, wanting to fight. It really didn't help that Ashton was still being a stupid attention whore who apparently had cotton for brains. The urge to fight and cause havoc still burned within his muscles, a physical urge that was countered by the ever-resurfacing guilt that reminded him not to. Ever since the fight with Blake the images had kept popping up, kicking him in the stomach over and over again. He had stabbed her and hurt her... He should have known better than to give in like that. The fighting felt good... No, not just good, it was ecstatic, but the guilt afterward just wasn't worth it.

Dis grunted to himself and readjusted his earphones, trotting up the stairs to the track loft above the pool and pushing the door open with his shoulder. Genesis' Land of Confusion hit his ears as he did a few stretches, loosening up before starting on his run. Even with the music blasting, his footfalls seemed to thud loudly as he jogged along the track, slowly working up speed.

He lost track of how many laps he made, but the songs had been playing for a while and now Feel Good Inc. was running through his head. His legs ached and his chest burned, so he figured he'd been running for a while. Despite that, he kept on moving, pushing himself faster, almost as if he was attempting to run away from himself. He was, in a sense. Dis wanted to peel away from his body and just keep running. He wanted to let the ragged cold feeling in his lungs to take over him, let him feel like he was made of nothing but jagged splinters of ice. He wanted his throat and lungs to burn through his skin, because at least then he'd have something besides sour guilt to taste.

The whole situation with Blake scratched at his conscience, and he wasn't quite sure how to approach her about it. Going out and saying "Hey, sorry I stabbed you, can we be friends now?" just wouldn't cut it, he didn't think. She had been avoiding him completely, probably because of what he had done. Despite the time that had passed between the event and now, tensions still seemed high and he didn't know what all to do. So he ignored that problem for now and focused on Era, who did really need his help. The kid was malnourished and broken on several levels... He needed all the help he could get.

But wasn't Blake suffering, too? He had seen her withdraw from everyone, except for maybe that slutty Wren kid... She might have been on one of her depressed cycles, and what had he been doing? He'd focused completely on Era and his own little issues that couldn't be magically cured right away and had forgotten about her. The realization of that made the guilt intensify and left him shaking his head at himself. Stupid boy. Stupid. He had to make amends somehow...

He eventually slowed down to a trot, closing his eyes and focusing on catching his breath again. It didn't take long for him to come to a stop, standing there and waiting for his breathing to even out again. Mild boredom paired with curiosity made him look over the loft's railing, if just to see what the pool looked like from above. He blinked in surprise when he noticed movement. A slim little figure hovered just underneath the skin of the water. Dis turned his iPod off and narrowed his eyes, a slight chill running down his spine as he watched. The momentary fear that he was looking at a drowned student was eased when she popped to the surface and started swimming again.

He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, leaning forward and resting his arms on the railing, simply watching the figure below. Her motions made him want to swim again, but the tiny space and the stink of chlorine did nothing to further his want. If anything, it heightened his longing to go home and visit the wild ocean again.

In silence, he watched the girl swim back and forth, trying to place her identity. She was about Blake's size... Similar hair, maybe.... He squinted, then blinked in recognition. It was Blake. Speak of the devil. Dis stood back and chewed his lip, glad that she hadn't noticed him yet. With a glance at the door to the stairs, Dis debated with himself. Should he confront her or should he leave her be?

He needed to apologize.

Glancing down at the pool again, Dis noticed a drinking fountain on the far side of the room. Why they had put one in there and not up in the loft was beyond him, but he was thirsty and needed a drink. The teen wiped the beads of sweat off his face and headed on down the stairs and into the pool room, heading on over to the fountain. He didn't know how to address her, or if she'd even notice him. But it was worth a try, he could always blurt out an 'I'm sorry' to her back if need be.

[Blake Riina Kildal]

It was the pain that kept driving her, until she choked on the water. She stood in a fluid motion, stopping mid-turn as she grabbed onto the wall, coughing harshly, wracking her already thin frame. Her eyes were closed, stopping the sting of the chlorine momentarily as she tried to catch her breath, that hollow feeling forming in her stomach as she knew she had involuntarily swallowed some pool water. She leaned forward, resting her head on her arms on the pool deck, breathing harshly as she waited for her racing heart to calm down so she could get back to swimming, deciding to just keep going until she physically couldn’t go another stroke.

She wasn’t paying attention to the track above the pool, it wasn’t her nature to do that, and as far as she was concerned, everything was blissfully empty and she was alone, having successfully dodged everyone for the time being. Time in the water was something that calmed her slightly, when music failed drastically. She had to move, to push herself, to feel alive or else she’d seriously go after an artery or a vein or something drastic, just to feel the pain for a moment. Her thoughts were swirling around her mind rapidly; chasing each other like a dog will chase its tail, never once catching.

Blake didn’t notice that she was crying, the tears silent and hardly registering among the water droplets that were already running down her face before she abruptly pushed off the wall, letting the water close over her head and body like a tomb, moving rapidly and just letting her speed decrease until she was back in the middle of the pool, just hovering over the slope that led to the deeper end, looking back at the direction she had come, her vision blurred from the stinging chlorine before she kicked off, heading back to the wall, her lungs burning from the lack of oxygen, her muscles quivering from how hard she had been pushing herself.

She collapsed against the wall again, resting her head on her arms, staring down at the pool deck and the growing puddle of water spreading around her, listening to her breath and the slosh of water against the walls of the pool, waiting for the pseudo-silence to spread again. As far as she was concerned, she was still alone in the pool area. She decided to wait for five minutes, for the shaking to stop—maybe skipping meals for the past few days had been a bad idea?—and go back to swimming.

She wanted to push herself so that she would be too exhausted to do much of anything, and would have a valid reason for as to why she was tired and not around people once more. She was swimming and focusing on her school work—well slightly on the latter. She’d stopped caring about it and was entertaining a passive suicide wish about just swimming until she couldn’t anymore, seeing if she would drown. Blake had always assumed it would be a peaceful way to go, kind of like falling asleep, she guessed.

Her reasons were her own, she thought and grew irritated that people kept trying to interfere. First Dis—well, no more for him—he was too busy with Era and she was just fine with that. One less person in her business. Then Wren. God only knows where he came from and why the fuck he wanted to interfere with her, especially when she was being a bitch. She’d pushed people away, well the ones that wanted anything to do with her, and said mean things on purpose. She’d attacked Wren in front of Nis and Adrian-William, the former had slapped her. She’d been asking for it, she knew and that didn’t bother her in the slightest.

Shifting and turning around so she was staring across the blank expanse of the pool, she never bothered to look up, not like she could see much anyways past the glare of the lights, she watched with dull eyes as the ripples spread out but were soon quieted. That’s all she was, a ripple that would be overwhelmed by everyone and everything around her. No one would notice if she were gone, she thought, it would just be another statistic.

She took a slow, gliding step forward, away from the wall and watched the waves around her movements, everything seeming rather lethargic and dull, until she started shivering for no reason. It wasn’t cold, she was just…out of it. Nothing made sense to her anymore and she stopped trying to make sense of it all, pushing everyone out and retreating back into her shell, the quiet kid she had been. The one place she felt any sort of security, the static noise filling her mind and her movements, almost detached as she watched her hands pass through the water without a ripple. She wasn’t the same anymore and she felt no attachment to herself or her life.

Perhaps it was time to move on?