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Post by Kohaku R. LeBara on Feb 8, 2011 8:24:24 GMT -5
 ( I am a question to the world )[/font] ( n o t a n a n s w e r t o b e h e a r d )[/color][/font][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kohaku took pride in the fact that he could stand on his own. It was his pride one could say, and he had lots of it. There was nothing worse, for him, then to rely on another. That is why this moment was so tough for him. Standing before this woman’s door, he took a breath, unsure how to do this. Normally, Kohaku would do the same old thing. Bottle in this emotions, ignore them till they finally faded. These painful, aching feelings that were clawing at his chest. Kohaku wasn’t able to handle it so easily, not like he hoped. So, that is what brought him to stand before this woman’s door, fighting with himself on what he should do now. He could knock.. or he could walk away. It didn’t help that he knew she was home.. his knock would be answered, he would have to face that woman and explain his presence. The man would have to explain that he was not strong enough to handle this on his own anymore.
He ran a hand under his glasses, softly rubbing at his eyes with a low sigh. Ko wasn’t even sure what this girl could do. It wasn’t like Asher would be able to fix everything – but she would listen. Kohaku needed a friend right now, a friend who was not going to bite off his head for the few words he needed to say.. god damn it. His hand fall back to his side, before he merely slid it into the pocket of his jeans, thinking. He had been trying to work at home, Craig had taken the kids to the town. His cousin had done this in a aim that Kohaku would rest.. but the man never rested. Instead he had been sitting on his bed, typing away at his laptop, papers scattered about. That is, until he found a paper that was not his own, but Mink’s. A painfully innocent drawing, one of his mother he drew after the class was read some book. It was rather sticky, and messy, but it still killed the man. No one had asked him if he was going to be ready for this, to be a parent on his own, and now he was a father for two.. that, paired with the thoughts of certain people that had been stinging at his thoughts since he started working.. it was too much.
The man had grabbed his keys and jacket, and within moments he was out of his home. He only pulled his damn hair is a barely tight tie, unable to even focus on the tie. It was almost suffocating.. all these thoughts, worries, and so on. He just.. no. Asher was the first person he could think of, that woman, she was so beautiful and kind.. he just needed someone sane. He knew the teacher would understand his issues as well. She was like him in a few areas, and well, he just needed her. There was a sudden noise, a knock. Kohaku startled himself, having knocked already. Taking a breath, he stood up straight, watching the door a moment. He prayed she wasn’t busy..
[/color][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -( And I'll never be what you want me to be )[/font][/center] ( tag ) Asher
( words ) 500 something
( notes ) ko's outfit.
( music ) Radio
( lyrics ) I'm still here -- goo goo dolls
( credit ) ARSON at CAUTION 2.0! [/color][/blockquote] |
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Post by Asher LeBeau on Feb 8, 2011 12:28:25 GMT -5
She had just managed to put her son to bed, the little boy was curled up in his own bed and now she was reading over some papers that her students had written, writing down small comments in neat, precise handwriting. She’d switched to jeans and a t-shirt, since she was home and running around with Nico didn’t require dress clothes. The little boy had been asleep for the last hour and would sleep through the rest of the night, until she had to take him to school.
Chewing her lower lip, she set down her papers, gathering them into a small pile, graded ones on the bottom, the ones she had yet to read on the top, and placed them in a bag that she would take with her tomorrow. She had grown rather bored with the papers, most of them saying the same thing even though she encouraged the students to write about whatever it was they wanted.
The sound made her look up as she bit her lower lip, wondering who it was. Standing off the bed, she padded silently across the room and opened the door to see Ko standing there. Frowning slightly, she opened the door wider so he could come in and turned to lead the way, making a space for him to sit. Asher ran a hand through her hair as she looked at Ko, worried and concerned by his randomly showing up to her door.
“Ko…” she said, her voice very soft, looking over his frame. Shaking her head a bit, she smiled softly, resting a hand on his arm. “Do you want something to drink?” |
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Post by Kohaku R. LeBara on Feb 8, 2011 20:33:50 GMT -5
( I am a question to the world ) [/font] ( n o t a n a n s w e r t o b e h e a r d )[/color][/font][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Seeing the woman.. Kohaku eased a bit. So she was home.. as the door opened and he stepped in, he didn’t say any words. He glanced around a moment and saw the lack of that tiny boy – he was probably sleeping. So it was just him and her, which eased him more. He would not want to speak with that child around. The English teacher never seemed to talk of any matters when children were around; it was just a habit of his, he didn’t like to bring issues and the like around children, it just wasn’t right. There was just them though, someone he trusted.. And it was enough for him to break a bit. As the woman gently touched his arm, Kohaku took a breath, then moved his arms to lightly wrap around the woman.
He held her close a moment, his face gently tucked against her hair, still silent a moment. After a bit, he uttered a weak apology and pulled away a bit, but his hands rested on her shoulders, just looking his co-worker over for a moment. “I..” He frowned, a slow sigh ad he just shook his head, almost unsure /what/ he was just trying to say. “I did not know where else to turn. Everyone here is just so..” The frown stayed and he swallowed lightly, not dropping his hands yet, but then finally did, nodding. “..A drink would be wonderful..” He swallowed lightly and took a step back, his hand softly rubbing at his forehead, clearly rather.. upset by something.
“ I am sorry.. for coming here so suddenly.. I.. you were time first person I thought of.. “ He hesitated for a moment. “You would understand, unlike others..” With that, his words fell away. He took a seat in the spot made for him, his eyes on the ground for a moment, before looking up to silently watch the woman, rather calmed after that moment of almost cracking. Yes, the mask slipped for a moment. The man who always seemed to have a stoic look, lacking in normal responses.. Kohaku liked to appear calm, to be in control and indifferent. Well, this situation was quite different. After all, everyone reached a breaking point, and most weren’t like Kohaku, to keep pushing and pushing when that breaking point had already been passed. It showed though, he was starting to realize. In his actions, in his body. When things became like this, he buried himself in work, which only did it’s best to affect his health and weight.. Kohaku knew he was rather unhealthy at the moment, but he also knew he couldn’t’ get better till he dealt with the issues that were covering it. At least he wasn’t ignoring it any longer..
[/color][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -( And I'll never be what you want me to be )[/font][/center] ( tag ) Asher
( words ) 500 something
( notes ) ko's outfit.
( music ) Radio
( lyrics ) I'm still here -- goo goo dolls
( credit ) ARSON at CAUTION 2.0! [/color][/blockquote] |
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Post by Asher LeBeau on Mar 16, 2011 14:12:24 GMT -5
It was a long moment that she let him hold her, nodding softly and worrying her lower lip between her teeth. It was unusual for him to be like this, so she let him talk and open up. Ko was never one to open up, always bottling things away until he was bursting at the seams, pretending nothing was wrong and nothing had been wrong until some disaster happened. Then he was always right there on the scene and a mess afterward, but it was nothing she could do.
She nodded at his response, slipping out of the embrace and silently padding her way across the room, long hair moving with her steps before pouring a mug of tea, letting the aroma waft through the room as she moved back, handing the mug to him. She’d had to switch to tea for….certain reasons, but they were not ones she wished to disclose at the time, regardless of who she was around.
Asher could easily tell something was very wrong, so she waited for him to gather himself, never once mentioning anything about the mask that he wore so much and so well slipping. She acted as if nothing had really happened before frowning at his words, uncertain as to what he meant. She did not like them, nor the sound of it and judging by how he was, it was bound to be something dark in her past that she didn’t want to think about. Thank gods that Nico was in Italy at the time, otherwise there would be far too many questions.
“…Ko,” she said softly, reaching out to gently lay a hand on his cheek, looking at him. “What happened?”
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Post by Kohaku R. LeBara on Mar 16, 2011 14:38:15 GMT -5
( I am a question to the world ) [/font] ( n o t a n a n s w e r t o b e h e a r d )[/color][/font][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The woman was so gentle, so kind. He watched her a moment, not even sure what he could say. The man merely leaned into the hand, placing his own over her's with a soft sigh. "I am..so sorry. I know it is late.. and.." The words just fell away. The hand not over the woman's gripped his cup, eyes looking at the other silently. She was so sweet, and so beautiful. Kohaku never once tried to hide his distaste for her old lover, the father of her beautiful son. It was just one of these moments, when Kohaku wished things were different. Would it have been better, if it was her that Kohaku was going to someone else about, if Asher was the issue in the situation. Alas, it was not, this whole issue was about them, that certain person that he couldn't get out of his head. Out of his thoughts, his wondering daydreams. There was nothing worse then to daze off in class, and see their face. He would start horribly and he was starting to believe some of his students.. were watching more closely then he would like to hope.
" I trust you Asher. You are a dear friend.. one of the few I have here.." It was pathetic, the few friends he really had. He had a few, he was deeply close with some students, one or two staff, but this was nothing he could speak of with them. " I just..dug myself a hole, a very deep, hypocritical hole... I love this job, more then I can tell. I know it's.. odd, but there is no where else I would rather be then working here.. with these bratty runts.." There was almost a softness to his eyes as he spoke the words, as always. The man.. always seemed to get a gentleness when talking about the students. Because he had faith in them, because he loved them. " .. I would not ever do anything to get fired Asher.. but.. I will, if things go like this, I believe.."
His words stalled, thinking. " I know.. some.. have been doing wrong things. Like that librarian and .. the fellow of yours.." He stalled again, letting go of her hand to sip the tea, closing his eyes a moment, then taking a proper drink. It was odd, how the burning sensation to his throat was wonderful.. still, he set the cup down and placed his hands over her own, looking down at them, rather then at her. " .. I got in too deep with one of these kids.. I just.. " He frowned, closing his eyes, a weak mumble. " I think I love them.. " As he uttered the words.. his eyes slowly opened, and he looked at her. It was a strange look for the man. The man who acted far beyond his age, always mature, always in control, always so unaffected by the things around him. Yet here, his dark eyes held a different look. a more confused look, a properly youthfully worried look, and rather fragile. The man had not been in this position in years, not since he lovely wife.. He had not felt this defenseless in quite a very long time.
[/color][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -( And I'll never be what you want me to be )[/font][/center] ( tag ) Asher
( words ) 500 something
( notes ) ko's outfit.
( music ) Radio
( lyrics ) I'm still here -- goo goo dolls
( credit ) ARSON at CAUTION 2.0! [/color][/blockquote] |
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Post by Asher LeBeau on Mar 16, 2011 15:03:26 GMT -5
Maybe it was instinct, maybe it was out of a need to care for him, but Ash sighed and frowned at his words, worried about him. She was always a mother in these situations, everyone came to her for advice on love. What did she know about it? She was still feuding with Ian and her feuds with the gypsy were nasty, despite her current situation. It was as if they assumed she had loved each and every person she’d slept with. Part of it was right, but the truth was that Asher was terrified to let anyone own her, a part of her. She still awoke with terrors in the middle of the night about Nico and dreams of marriage to a faceless groom.
She’d long since suspected that there was something going on, but his actions lately had made her even more suspicious than ever of Ko and his relationships with the students. His words had given her pause, her mind going quickly over everything he’d said before frowning and looking at him again, shifting her weight to kneel in front of him so she was eye-level with the taller male. “Kohaku…did something happen between you two that makes you feel like you’re in love?” she asked quietly, without judgment. After all, she was not one to throw stones when she was so obviously full of sin.
Asher sighed and looked at him, lifting her hands to curl around his, trying to provide some modem of comfort to him when she didn’t have answers. The woman could easily surpass any of the intellectuals in the world in history or languages, but not love and life. There was never an easy answer for it, so she chewed her lip instead, watching him carefully. There were few things in life she was very experienced in. Sex and any form of it was one thing and she was experienced in dealing with unusual situations, however this was not one of them.
She knew next to nothing about love between people because she didn’t know if she loved Ian or if he really loved her and was merely holding a grudge against her for leaving four years ago…it was a fine line between love and hate. Asher blinked violet eyes at the other male, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “Ko, tell me what happened, please.”
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Post by Kohaku R. LeBara on Mar 16, 2011 15:42:29 GMT -5
( I am a question to the world ) [/font] ( n o t a n a n s w e r t o b e h e a r d )[/color][/font][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Her words made him stare a moment.. and he just softly shook his head. She was so gentle. Still, her words made him frown. He kept her hands in his own, gently squeezing.. and weakly sighed. "I am no child, Asher. You know that.. it was just merely one thing.." He took a breath, his eyes shifting away. "It was many things, everything.. I.." He stalled.. and lowering his head a bit, to whisper, to mumble. "For months.. I think.. I have been falling. They just.. I don't know. They always know just the right then to say, the right way to look at me.. the right way to hold me.. "The last bit was barely a whisper, tightly closing his eyes behind those damned glasses, hating himself more and more with each other, and it showed. He had as much, if not more, self hate then most of these kids. " These kids.. the few close to me, are almost family to me.. but.. not this one. I can.. never look at them as family..not this one. "
He took a breath, and softly bite his lip a moment.. and leaned forward, resting his forehead against her shoulder, whispering loud enough for her to hear, but it was still gently, still gripping her hands. " Even Mink and Tori.. I get so scared.. that they will get hurt.. but not with this kid. This..student.. They are so kind to them.. always making those little ones smile.. those darlings are always asking to see that kid.. to play with them.."He fell silent.. and wasn't.. even sure why he was still talking. He so foolish..
" I don't know what to do Asher.. I am always telling people, teachers, they can't use a student like that.. say such things to a child and confuse them.. but.." He swallows and gripped her hands a bit tighter, slightly anxious. " I should.. have bothered you.." He let go of her hands and sat up a bit, his head turned away. " Just.. around them.. it's just so confusing. So gentle, always so kind.. I.. " He fell silent, his shoulders dropping a bit, a painful whisper, a slight louth in the tone, for himself. " I haven't been able to smile like that.. around anyone..but them in a long time.. I don't know what to do Asher. THey are too young..! I don't want to get fired.. but I don't want to lose them..I like this happiness.. that me and the share.." At the last bit, he bit his tongue.. and just gave a rather shaken sigh. He was a moron, he was so.. he should have stayed silent. He should have stayed home, foolish, as always..
[/color][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -( And I'll never be what you want me to be )[/font][/center] ( tag ) Asher
( words ) 500 something
( notes ) ko's outfit.
( music ) Radio
( lyrics ) I'm still here -- goo goo dolls
( credit ) ARSON at CAUTION 2.0! [/color][/blockquote] |
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Post by Asher LeBeau on Mar 16, 2011 15:56:25 GMT -5
Asher sighed, gently rubbing his back and nosing his hair as she tried to comfort him. They were so similar, yet so different. Asher ran from commitment yet was still physical while Ko was the opposite, locking himself away in an icy tower. It was only a matter of time before one of them broke under someone and with that came the uncertainty. It was a never ending cycle and she just wanted to get out of it and avoid all the complications in life she could.
“Ko…I don’t really know what to say. You know my relationship with Ian is….far more complicated than it should be at this point,” she said, shifting so she could cradle him. “You have to do what you believe is right, and if it means sneaking, then fine,” she continued. “I’m not going to get you in trouble, but I will defend you to the end because I trust you.”
Yes, their relationships and their love lives were far more complicated than anyone cared for, even those guys that wrote soap operas. It was far more than anyone wanted, yet they were prime living examples of what not to do in life however well it may turn out for them in the end. Asher was pregnant with twins this time, from Ian, and well, her life was a bit more complex than she intended to have made it, and had no intentions of telling anyone any time soon.
“Ko, I wish I had the answers to everything in the world, but people change and make their own decisions. I can’t tell you what not to do or what to do because what may be right for me may very well be wrong for you, but the only thing I can tell you is to do what is best for the children,” she said softly, petting his back gently.
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Post by Kohaku R. LeBara on Mar 16, 2011 17:17:58 GMT -5
( I am a question to the world ) [/font] ( n o t a n a n s w e r t o b e h e a r d )[/color][/font][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The guilt returned, fast. Guilt seemed to be the most he felt, if not the only thing he felt when not around that certain other. It was not an answer that he was looking for though. No, instead he sighed.. and looked at the woman for a moment, gently shaking his head. "I don't.. there is no answer. No matter what I pick, there will be a consequence. " His words stalled.. and he just thought about what she said. What was best for the children?
Kohaku always put his children first. That is why he worked so much, so many jobs, so many hours. He wanted to put on a good example for them, eh wanted to support them. The.. french born male did not have money issues. he could quit now and sit back in a pretty house, and raise the kids spoiled. Hell, the boy could even join his friend back home in his business, and make large cash with minimal work.. but that isn't the life he wanted for his babies. Kohaku never wanted Mink and Tori to set foot back in their home town. He didn't want to raise them spoiled, to raise them alone. Of course this school wasn't teh safest, wasn't the best choice by others, but it was the best in his eyes. Because in this school, there was many who were their friends, many who loved them, many who would protect and teach them.
As would the boy that was lingering in every one of Kohaku's thoughts. He.. was amazing with the children. They always smiled when he came over, ran into his arms and clung. They always asked for him, always wanting to play, always wanting to be held by that boy. He gently nodded.. thinking. " .. He makes them happy, Asher. Just like I do. They are never sad when he is near..and... I .. I wasn't looking for an answer. Merely.. a friend who isn't going to hate me, if I choose to stay by him.. "
[/color][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -( And I'll never be what you want me to be )[/font][/center] ( tag ) Asher
( words ) 500 something
( notes ) ko's outfit.
( music ) Radio
( lyrics ) I'm still here -- goo goo dolls
( credit ) ARSON at CAUTION 2.0! [/color][/blockquote] |
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Post by Asher LeBeau on Mar 17, 2011 21:56:36 GMT -5
Asher didn’t really know what to say, so instead she hugged the taller male, running her fingers through his long hair in a comforting gesture, much the way she did with Nico or any of her friends. Chewing her lower lip, she nodded and smiled faintly, brushing warm lips over his forehead once more. “Of course I’ll stay by you, Ko,” she said softly, just the faintest traces of her accent trailing over her words. “You are my friend and so long as the children are happy and unharmed, I will be too,” she said, smiling at him.
She was happy that her friend had someone who made her happy and treated his children well, otherwise Asher would jump to protect her friend. That was who she was, she was a champion defender of those she held dear, with little regard to her own safety or well-being in a given situation. Asher was a sweetheart to people she cared about but she had her own cold and unforgiving sides that rose up on occasion.
She continued to hug the man, knowing that what he needed was comfort and comfort of a friend did not come easily in cold places such as this. It was hard, watching the students and staff treat each other with disdain, hatred, or even violence. It made her sad, made her want to reach out to everyone and hold them close as she comforted them all, but instead all she did was help those that came to her. She couldn’t force friendship on everyone, but those that wanted it, she always made sure to give them what they deserved.
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Post by Kohaku R. LeBara on Mar 20, 2011 8:26:03 GMT -5
( I am a question to the world ) [/font] ( n o t a n a n s w e r t o b e h e a r d )[/color][/font][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was.. too nice to know that he had a friend finally. That is something that he had been terrified since this whole thing started, that he was going to be stuck alone from now on. Because he knew Kye would never forgive him. IN fact.. well, Kye was an awkward case in itself. That man.. after the last incident, when he had been so scared.. even Kye, even his best friend, could not touch him without a shudder from the foreign man. Even then though, he would not give up the name of the one who caused this lapse of control, the one who caused the man to feel so insecure.. he couldn't even tell Kye then, there was no way he could tlel him about this situation without loosing his trust -- or having the man wanting him to turn himself in. Now, Kohaku knew he wasn't the only one who was in this situation, in fact there was a few staff.. but.. it was worse for him. There was just too much at risk, he wasn't going to let this choice put Tori and Mink in danger..
Taking a breath, he let his head rest on her shoulder in a long silence.. before just hugging her tight again, a hoarse whisper. "I would.. be in such trouble Asher. I.. I always forget how young they are.. He acts so mature -- like an adult. I see him as an adult.. but the school doesn't. I am fucked if they find out.. " The silence returned.. and the man tightly closed his eyes. He knew Asher couldn't help him.. but then again, she was already. She was letting him speak, without judging, that was all he needed. " I have to try and figure something out.. or.. it's not.. I didn't tell him, can't. What if I scare the poor kid.." With that.. he slowly pulled from the hug, to stare at her a moment.. and just sighed. A hand reached o softly brush her hair.. just observing, that stoic look seeming to return again, though his eyes looked.. oddly vulnerable. " I am really stupid.. aren't I? just a kid.. he may not feel the same -- and if he does, just a phase.. "He weakly shook his head, suddenly looking away, a sudden hurt look on his face from his own words. Just a phase, that seemed just like Kohaku's luck. " I am not planning to ever tell.. I refuse to ruin the .. friendship? I have now. " Suddenly.. he felt sick. Leaning on the sofa arm, he laid a hand over his mouth, groaning. "Fucking.. sorry. Just.." he took in a breath, a almost pathetic smile as he shook his head. He reached to take teh tea, just to shut himself up.
[/color][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -( And I'll never be what you want me to be )[/font][/center] ( tag ) Asher
( words ) 500 something
( notes ) ko's outfit.
( music ) Radio
( lyrics ) I'm still here -- goo goo dolls
( credit ) ARSON at CAUTION 2.0! [/color][/blockquote] |
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Post by Asher LeBeau on Mar 21, 2011 17:01:36 GMT -5
The Hawaiian sighed, looking down at her hands in her lap quietly, trying to figure out exactly what to say or do. She had no reason to judge Kohaku, because in doing so, she would be judging Ian and in turn herself, all for mistakes. The rules were in place for a reason, but she couldn't turn Kohaku in without damaging herself. It was an awkward situation, but all she did was listen, folding her hands over her stomach, grateful that she never showed until she was ready to give birth.
Listening to the male, she chewed her lip and nodded, trying to understand how best she could help him and the children because she knew that what was most important was what is best for the children and not necessarily the adults. Things hurt, whether they were right or wrong, there was no denying it. Asher had really no idea who this boy was that Ko spoke about and did not intend to pry, seeing as he did not give up a name, it was best that way, she could feign ignorance.
Reaching out gently, she rubbed his arm and smiled softly, trying to reassure him. "Ko, you know I am always here for you. You can talk to me at any time," she said gently.
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Post by Kohaku R. LeBara on Mar 22, 2011 5:17:21 GMT -5
( I am a question to the world ) [/font] ( n o t a n a n s w e r t o b e h e a r d )[/color][/font][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
" .. you are the last person I should be bothered.. I mean.. after all the crap.. " He paused, and slowly sighed. There had indeed been lots of trouble. Most was caused by the man himself, when he would snap at the woman's lover, that frustrating man.. but he just stared at her. For a moment, he gripped her hands and was silent.. then glanced around silently. He pulled off his glasses and set them on the table, speaking softly to the woman. "You are much more then you appear, do you know this, my friend? " He smiled weakly.. something he had been seeming to do more lately. That was one thing he loved most about this boy, this precious one who entered into his life. That student was always making him smile, making that strange feeling in his chest, that buzz of enjoyment that he thought had died years ago.
As the smile lingered, he let his hand softly brush the woman's cheek, waiting a moment before kissing it. As he slowly pulled away, he sat back a bit, hands resting his his lap. His eyes seemed rather distant, thoughts were turning and tossing through his mind, but none seemed to actually..settle. No, he just sat there, a disturbed look on his face.. ".. Asher, why am I so worried? There are others who do this.. but I feel like I am going to be crushed for this. I know.. I know I act out, I bend the rules, but I do it for the sake of my students.." Was it so wrong, the way he worked here, on edge?
[/color][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -( And I'll never be what you want me to be )[/font][/center] ( tag ) Asher
( words ) 500 something
( notes ) ko's outfit.
( music ) Radio
( lyrics ) I'm still here -- goo goo dolls
( credit ) ARSON at CAUTION 2.0! [/color][/blockquote][/quote] |
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