Monique James
Assault
Falling apart, faster and faster, spiralling out of control
Posts: 43
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Post by Monique James on Apr 7, 2011 16:00:10 GMT -5
 [--I'VE BECOME SO NUMB--]I CAN'T FEEL YOU THEREB E C O M E S O T I R E D S O M U C H M O R E A W A R EOne. It was a lot of things. One was the time, as in, ‘it is one in the goddamned morning’. One was solo. Alone. Without another. One was Monique. And she liked it that way. Without equal, without a friend, without love. One was safe. It was alone, but it was safe. Everything was one in the tiny little practice room she had taken residence in. One piano. One stool. One light, turned off. One music stand. Everything was alone. But tucked up in that little corner, alone, surrounded by other things that were also alone and empty, she felt slightly comforted.
Monique was dying. It wasn’t that she wasn’t trying to keep up with her life, it just wasn’t working that way. She knew that while she looked fine on the outside, she was rotten at her core. Not the kind of devilish rotten that she had been coming into this place, but rotten as in it’s time to throw away that piece of fruit.
She still seemed okay, on the outside. A little more fight prone, a little shorter of a temper, but still okay. Even though her insides were putrefying on her, something like a rotten apple. The first bite was fine, oh so sweet and delicious, and then the second bite brought you the core, sour, liquid and blackened, completely dead and nothing worth saving, your stomach turned.
Sleep was now completely foreign to her, and her thoughts were spiraling back and forth, every mistake she’s ever made ricocheting through her mind to twist and turn over and over again, replaying in slow motion then in fast forward, only to reverse and do it all over again. It was driving her to madness and the drugs had stopped working. She was finished. Mentally and physically exhausted and just wanted it all to end. Not like she was going to do it herself. She was too proud to take such a pussy way out. Even though she knew people would be all the better for her permanent disappearance. What could she say? She knew she had to be holding on simply because of the fact that she was just this teeny ball of hate. Even though she didn’t hate things nearly as much as she pretended she did. She was too tired to keep lying to herself. Too destroyed inside to keep the lies intact enough to hold in the demons trapped in her soul.
The distance held the echoes of a clock chiming. Was it already four in the morning? Perhaps she had passed out for a few hours. Since she wasn’t sleeping her body would occasionally shut down so she could recover some of the energy that she was forcing herself to continually use. Or perhaps she had just sat there, staring at the side of the piano, lost in her own head.
It was funny, how when she had nothing left to lose she turned to music, even though there had been not even one good note that had come out of her in almost a decade. It all sounded sour. Rotten. Just like her. The thought was almost amusing, and a single half laugh came from her throat, tortured and almost crazed. But after not even a full echo it died, taking her into silence again.
Her fingers were covered in tiny slices and burns almost radiating up onto her palms to the point where everything that she touched should have sent tendrils of pain shooting up into her brain, but nothing would happen anymore. Her brain was getting too tired to register pain, which was both a blessing and a curse and it was fully dangerous. She still tried to get a reaction out of her weary body, but nothing would happen. She was getting sick of being numb, but it seemed that she couldn’t win because she didn’t want to feel either.
She was like the lost sheep. But she didn’t want to go back to any kind of flock. She just wanted things to be okay again. Was that too much to ask? Or would she become one of the few that died here, from her own causes or because she jumped over the fence and froze? Only time would tell.
WORDS?! 711
TAGGED?! Opennnn
LYRICS?! numb by linkin park
MOOD?! confused at how morbid Mo’s muse is.
OUTFIT?! pants shoes shirt
NOTES?! None at this time~
CREDIT?! dreamer boy of caution 2.0! don't steal!
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Post by Mizumi Halna on Apr 9, 2011 3:59:39 GMT -5
When time feel into a soft of pattern, one that was comfortable, it was so hard to break it. Mizumi was so use to that certain room, that certain bed. When it was all over, when it came to an end, it was terribly hard for him to let go – still, the boy had no let go. Things were different though, better. After the secret came out, after the safety he created shattered, what was expected followed. The glares, the harsh words, the hate and hisses. The forgiveness that came in tiem was something that no one, no foggy glass orb or palm reader could have seen. Was it cause he kept the ring, given to him under that false name, that love that was wrapped around a tightly secured lie? It was after he found the ring, touched it so gently, that his tone became just as soft, that those eyes stopped glaring and just gazed.
Mizumi didn’t want forget that day. He couldn’t possible even consider it when he could feel the cold metal of that very ring against his chest. It hung on it’s chain, safety under his too loosen black top. It was clearly too cold for such wear, sleeveless, but the boy couldn’t resist. Instead, he just brought a pretty thick jacket, which his hands were tucked in the pockets of. In one of his hands, he tightly gripped a bit of paper, rather ruined thanks to his rough treatment with it. There was no reason to be kind to such a piece of paper though, not then it held words that meant little to him. Something from home, from his father. Without being there, the man’s words were still cold, strong, and made the other shudder. He did not wish to hear about home, about his father or his judging ways. He did not wish ot hear his mother’s forced care and concern. No, ironically he rather be here, in Ridgestone.
Ironic, it seemed, his view compared to the others. Most of the residents in this facility, in this castle, seemed to hate it. Mizumi though, he was not like the rest. To himself, this place was amazing – it was an escape, it was a real home that he could enjoy. That is, a home so unlike his other, he didn’t need to worry. No father breathing down his neck, no mother with those fake smiled that drove him mad. Of course the lack of his sister was heart-breaking. There was nothing better then being woken up by the girl’s eager cries of his names as she jumped on his bed till either he fell out or she dragged him. Never a dull morning with her, honestly, but that girl was not here at the moment. The only one that was here, that was even close, was him. The one who made him grin in the way his sister did, the one who greeted him softly in the mornings they woke up beside another, sometimes with a gentle kiss his sister could never give. The thoughts made the boy shiver in a different way then the letter. He craved that person, their touch and voice, their very presence. He was such a disgusting person, Mizumi couldn’t believe himself. What was he becoming, was this really him? So needy, so craving and attached. The boy who was always unstoppable, untamable, always the one slipping from everyone’s gasp – family, flirts and even authority.
So many had changed since that accident, he really had become a whole new person it felt like. He was so much more frightened here, nervous and anxious. Each day, walking through these halls was unlike anything he had felt before. There was no pride, no braveness that he carried with each step, uncaring to the stares and whispers as his skirts swished. Back then, he had friends, he had protection. No one would bother him, no physical harm fell upon him because of his ways – both who he was friends with, and the fact he tried to be friends with everyone. There was hardly any one here to be trusted though. He knew better then to go around being friends with everyone, there was no point, everyone was cruel and hating. That was something Mizumi grew to accept, but not join in. He did not hate, no one, not even that damn Bennett who decided to make his life here hell – then expect forgiveness after a sorry, despite taking away everything and the only thing Mizumi was every happy with about his life. Knowing these thoughts however, Mizumi kept to himself, he did well to stay out of the spotlight. He hide behind his books, and the one or two friends he had, merely waiting out the time till he could leave this place, leave these fears, leave this acceptance he’s grown use to. Yes, he has learned to accept this place greatly, all the people and odd ways they brought and caused here.
One of the things he grew accustom to, was learning the names, the faces, of the baddies of the building. Most of them were males, as expect, but there was a female or to up on that list. One of those, was in this room that Mizumi had been mingling in. With his hands gently folded behind him, his back straight, watching the room curiously, aware of the other inside. Her name was Monique, Mizumi heard about her often. She was not someone people messed with often, certainly not if they wanted to go through without bodily harm and emotion tearing. The miss gender dressed student.. didn’t care though, after all, he was not here for a fight, to bother. Merely, he was only here to enjoy the room and the music it tended to hold. So, slowly, he walked over to the large piano. His steps did not stop till he was beside the large furniture, fingers barely touching the smooth surface. He took a moment before moving closer to the place the girl was resting, a soft smile as he greeted her. "Evening.."
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no idea ._. || momomomo || outfit || >o> bit rocky, sorry[/quote] |
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Monique James
Assault
Falling apart, faster and faster, spiralling out of control
Posts: 43
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Post by Monique James on Apr 10, 2011 20:50:39 GMT -5
[/IMG] [--I'VE BECOME SO NUMB--]I CAN'T FEEL YOU THEREB E C O M E S O T I R E D S O M U C H M O R E A W A R E[/center] “Evening”
[/i] The words jarred her from her hazy contemplations of life and the futility of it all. Emerald eyes flashed up at him, narrowed and sharp, like broken glass. Her body tensed up as she tried to figure out who and – more importantly – what this person was. She had noticed a slight tremor that remained in her fingers and abdomen, but it was most definitely not fear. It could possibly be that she hadn’t eaten, or that she hadn’t slept, or even the fact that she wasn’t wearing enough clothing to keep her warm. She couldn’t tell and so she just tightened down on the muscles even more so she could keep the involuntary reactions under control. “Are you really that retarded?” The words flew out of her mouth with a slowness that gave the impression that she truly believed that the answer to the question was a very firm ‘yes’. “it’s four in the goddamned morning. If you think it’s evening you need to learn how to tell time properly. Evening is when the sun is going down. Morning is when the sun is coming up. Now go the fuck away before I decide to give you even more brain damage than you already have.” The same eyes stayed leveled on the intruder in hate, just itching for an excuse to spring to her feet and pummel the person into oblivion. What a fucking stupid fag. Doesn’t he realize that everyone with any sense of observation know that he’s not a fucking girl? Yeah, the signs were subtle, but they were still there. Monique had been there for long enough to be able to tell who was a girl and who was a boy with relative certainty. A wicked thought popped into her mind causing her to crack her knuckles and grin evilly in anticipation. But, on the other hand, if he wants to be a girl, I can always make him one. Enough twisting and pulling and maybe some piano wire and he’ll be female forever. She decided that keeping a level stare on him until he figured to either run away or tell her why he was interrupting her solace would be the best bet. She didn’t really want to be bothered, but if he was going to insist on remaining, then he could be her personal jester. He wouldn’t have much choice in the matter. Yes, she was unstable, but no, nobody could fix her. [/blockquote][/blockquote] WORDS?! Giddyup 409 *shot*
TAGGED?! Koko
LYRICS?! numb by linkin park
MOOD?! Still confused at how morbid Mo’s muse is.
OUTFIT?! pants shoes shirt
NOTES?! Creepy Mo is Creepy
CREDIT?! dreamer boy of caution 2.0! don't steal!
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Post by Mizumi Halna on Apr 10, 2011 22:01:43 GMT -5
Just standing there, watching her, it was quite a sight. Her eyes were something fierce, but there was not a fiber of his being that shook. He dealt with worse, more intimidating, more cruel people then this little girl. Oh, but what a perfectly terrible girl. The words fell from her mouth like poison, but did not reach the boy’s heart. How could words bother him anymore? Mizumi heard too many, too often. Instead, that smile stayed. Did she really think she was so tough? How adorable, these types, they always caused an amusement to the other. He saw them often back home, in his father’s work place. Fist raised, harsh eyes and smart mouths. They wore their belts with such pride, carried themselves higher then the worth they actually were. Honestly, though, this girl was above them. The little females he was thinking back to, they acted strong and tough, against this cruel world. Then they were picked up by daddie and his big shiny car and high priced watches. The one before him had a right to be angry, after all, this place stripped away much. Their freedom, their rights, their safety. So very much safety they lost, being in this building filled with children just as blood thirsty as themselves. Still, was he scared of her? Not a chance, after all, she was just a little girl. Perhaps a bit more brutal then the usual kind but he was not going to let his fear impair his thoughts.
“Is it? Mh.. I don’t carry a watch on me! Still use to home time..” The words trailed off, fixing his sleeve a moment in silence, eyes falling to the ground. The tile even looked cold, yet the other still sat down. Not close to the other, but enough to show he was there to stay. Mizumi didn’t’ know whty he had done this, perhaps it was just his own way of saying ‘ha’, or maybe he was really interested in her. That wasn’t far from the truth, after all types like her’s always made him curious. What was going through their minds that made them such harsh beings? Not enough hugs from dad, too many harsh words from mommy? The world wasn’t that fucking bad that children had to dress in black and write poems about it – but looking at children like the one before him, he started to think that perhaps this is honestly what they thought the answer was. To be harsh, to be inhuman, to just be out right dicks, in hopes of earning something in the world. How moronic, but was he really one to judge? Hiding behind his bits of make up, his clothes and soft voice, to slip away from the harsh judgment he felt was undeserved – after al, it was not a choice of his to be the way he was, it just happened. Still, he could not justify the actions of the other. No doubt there were reasons, but for now, he would just assume her like a cat dunked in water. Snarling and scratching, yet so small and shaking.
“ Quite the little mouth you have there, I bet you scare all the little kiddies away with that~” Terhe was the mingling of laughter among the words, pulling his knees to his chest, hands wrapped under his knees with a slow sigh. Was it really four in the morning? He had no damn idea – he spent far too much time in the theater, he was bound to get yelled at again. Those guards and their stupid little curfew, it was a rule he had always hated. One of the few he never obeyed at home, after all it wasn’t hard to turn off your light and climb out the window, and parents slept in bed peacefully and never knew where you really were. It was just like school, gone for eight hours and they assumed you were really in some shitty math class, not drinking with pals in the back of their truck. Just like now, if the pair was getting lucky. Their lights were off and the stupid guards were thinking they were tucked away in bed, not relaxing here in the music room, with only the tense air around them for a witness. There was really much he could say in this situation, and not get a snappy response from this clearly pissed woman – child. He opted to say little words, just softly humming beneath his breath as his eyes danced around the room, at every shadow, every little detail, before lightly asking. “Sorry, for addressing wrong! Though, I suppose I can’t say good morning, the sun hasn’t risen yet.. good.. four in the morning~? “ He grinned slightly, then closed his eyes, counting down how long it would take for the other to snap. He really didn’t mean any harm, he hoped she knew. “ Ah.. sorry.. I am being annoying, aren’t I..?” Though, there was no sincerity in his apology. Why should he feel bad? He felt great. It was not this other one could ruin it – she could try all she wished though. He was certainly use to her type, oh yes he was.
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no idea ._. || momomomo || outfit || hoho, she is dark  [/quote] |
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Monique James
Assault
Falling apart, faster and faster, spiralling out of control
Posts: 43
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Post by Monique James on Apr 11, 2011 0:23:41 GMT -5
[/IMG] [--I'VE BECOME SO NUMB--]I CAN'T FEEL YOU THEREB E C O M E S O T I R E D S O M U C H M O R E A W A R E[/center] Of all the things Monique had expected from this boy, sitting down was not one of them. But yet sit he did. And not even completely across the room either. Was he intentionally trying to fuck with her? Make her feel cornered and want to snap his neck? Because that’s what he was doing. The practice rooms were small enough to feel claustrophobic already, especially with the only light coming from the dim hallway and the shadows of the piano and other adornments jettisoning around the room at grotesque angles. But sitting near a lioness ready and willing to tear the flesh from your bones was a whole new level of masochistic stupidity. But maybe that was it. Maybe this boy was just a giant masochist, looking to get his fix. Because if that was the reason, then he had come to the right girl. She would turn him into a pulp.
“’Scare’ them?” She laughed, crisp and mirthless, yet still hollow to her own ears. Everything she said sounded hollow, like one of those little Easter bunnies that appeared to be solid chocolate but just filled with air. “I only scare the smart ones. They’re the ones that know that I will destroy people like them and not feel bad about it.” Why was he laughing? Was it nerves? Or did he genuinely not know what kind of trouble awaited him with her? “But obviously you’re not smart.”
Oh, it would be so easy to kill him in here. She could already feel the tingle of adrenaline trickle into her bloodstream, anticipatory of the bone crunching bruising fight, mental images of blood oozing across the floor like acid, perhaps tripping into the piano itself from her bashing the queer’s head into it. Images of piano wire glistening with ruby blood of a fresh wound slithered through her mind, more tantalizing than all the food and drink in the world or a person’s celebrity crush waiting naked in the bedroom for them combined.
Maybe destroying this boy would be enough to make her feel alive again. Enough to push the darkness back into the corners of her mind. After all, sated beasts did become quieter did they not? Or was the beast not after someone else’s blood, but after hers? The madness that was borne of watching nearly everyone you love die violently around you, of feeling the poison that was drugs course through your veins relentlessly, of knowing that you’re trapped inside a living breathing hell no matter what you do like a carnival’s house of murderers in mirrors.
“You should apologize and mean it fag, before I carve your tongue out and make it into a condom for whatever whore you pay to fuck you.” She snarled, voice low, shifting from her seated stance into one more easily gotten up from, one that she could easily lunge across the room with all the speed of a cheetah and pulverize the boy. She didn’t care if he meant no harm. Didn’t he realize she was falling apart? Faster and more destructively than the Challenger, but primed to explode with a million times more force? How could he be humming when presented with such danger?
WORDS?!535
TAGGED?! Koko againnnn
LYRICS?! numb by linkin park
MOOD?! dark and creepy yet
OUTFIT?! pants shoes shirt
NOTES?!God, Mizu’s in for some fucked up shit. Mo is really twisted….. I apologize for her
CREDIT?! dreamer boy of caution 2.0! don't steal!
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Post by Mizumi Halna on Apr 11, 2011 20:31:03 GMT -5
Smart? Really, was she judging his intelligence solely on his actions? She truly was like all those other girls – merely lacking the fancy father. Shame, he had hopes she would be different. Perhaps there was still time though, he hoped so. It was be a shame those similar girls to be sneaking their way into the place like this – everyone had been so different, so unique. Last thing he needed was another one of those he left back home, here. Still, there were no doubts in his mind she was foolish one in the situation. Judging someone based on a single action in a single moment? How cruel, but, that is what children did he supposed – he had done it before no doubt. Still, he deiced to go with her little game, these types liked to feel right, didn’t they? And he was not here to upset anyone, so why not stroke the ego the best he could. There was a small shrug of his shoulders, eyes staring straight ahead. “ Sorry.. I do not need to talk if it upsets you so much! It’s late.. I guess my thoughts are a bit impaired..”
The words that followed, well, damn. He leaned forward slightly, to rest his head on his knees, hiding his expression. Now, the girl could think he was expressing whatever feeling she wished, she would not get to see the one he held, the small, slow smile. It was not to be seen, not by anyone, so he merely hid it. It was strange, to be smiling in a time like this, but it was not something that he could really stop. After all, there were words he was so use to. Fag? He was born to that name, he was called it so often, by so many – even by the person he loved most. However, the violent hum after, well, how interesting. She was certainly a dark little one, but it did not faze him. After all, who in this damn place had not been exposed to violence before? He had, quite a few times. Just because he had been protected by friends back home, it did not mean he always escaped the rough hands that yearned to harm him.
As the girl moved, he slowly lifted his head finally, not looking at her, but he could tell she was moving. He was not foolish enough to look at the other, instead his eyes were straight ahead, the smallest smile there as he spoke this time, gently. “You.. are quite smart, I have to say! Most do not know I am a boy.. and I have been here for quite some time..” His words trailed off and he shifted himself, not away, just merely in the spot. His hands moved from under his knees to instead rest on top, his fingers slowly stroking the fabric there, lightly sighing. Was he lacking fear, seeming so relaxed in this moment? Yes, he truly was. After all, eh had stared horrible fear in the face, and taken it on. This girl was nothing, not compared to the things he dealt with before. Perhaps that was another reason for his loving of this insane school – the freedom from those hurting hands. Of course this girl was so close, this vicious child, but he was no shaking, he was not anxious or trying to flee. He was not unprepared, he was not defenseless.
That was a fact of his father the boy would never understand. Despite his harsh words towards the women clothing, the looks and repulsed expressions as he saw his son brush by in his sister’s clothing. One would easily decide that his father held hatred for Mizumi, after all it made clear sense. Yet, in the end, he protected him. Since Mizumi was just a small tike, he taught him to fight, every day dragging him to the mats, teaching him how to throw a punch. He made sure his son knew the right way to hold his body before he was barely into his education in school – he even wanted to keep the boy home schooled so to work him into the boy he had dreamed of having. However, Mizumi was far too much a lively child to be kept home, and his father accepted that. Always dragged to learn more after school though, Mizumi was strong for his age always. However, the strange thing was when he finally exposed his true sexuality. He had expected his father to never let him on the mat again, to never look at him – he was given a shock. His father got more upset then usual if Mizumi missed a day, and started to teach him defense, instead of merely hitting. He taught him to protect himself, to disarm, to always be prepared. It was these teachings that saved him from possible death many times. It was something he never expected from a man who seemed to hate him, and it was something he would always be in debt to him got. So, of course he was not scared – the girl could say what she wanted, do what she wanted, his own fear would not come. He knew he could always run if things got bad – that, and that lovely camera seemed to give him comfort. Also, a temptation to wave as well, he had no doubt that guard he was fond of was there. For that brief moment, of that cheery father in his mind, the girl’s being faded from his thoughts a moment, before coming back fast and he smiled, just straight ahead.
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no idea ._. || momomomo || outfit || If it seems to switch.. moods? It's cause I fell asleep and tossed in the ending owo;; sorry. >w>;; Mizumi will be fine, it's why I used him, not one that can be hurt..[/quote] |
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Monique James
Assault
Falling apart, faster and faster, spiralling out of control
Posts: 43
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Post by Monique James on Apr 24, 2011 1:30:36 GMT -5
[--I'VE BECOME SO NUMB--]I CAN'T FEEL YOU THEREB E C O M E S O T I R E D S O M U C H M O R E A W A R E “You’re tap dancing on my last nerve you fire assed twatbird. You’re a load that your mother should have swallowed and even though you at one point were the fastest sperm out of a million, your brain obviously isn’t keeping up with it, so for the safety of whatever lonely braincell you have, please” the last word was very strained, “Shut the fuck up.” Every single word out of her mouth sounded like she was forcing it through not only grit teeth but a broken glass and nail cocktail.
Finally, there was silence. Silence that was only broken by both of their breathing. She settled, still crouching, against the wall again. Why was it that when she wanted to be alone and not cause trouble, people automatically sought her out? Maybe it wasn’t her specifically that they were looking for, but how could they just invade her solitude. Speaking of such quietness, as soon as she was getting used to it, he started to speak again, praising her ‘smarts’. Her sleep deprived brain turned it into sarcasm, and she was unsure of whether he was actually being sarcastic or if it was just her.
“Didn’t we just cover the fact that you’re going to shut up?” She growled, a headache building behind her eyes. “Can’t you be doing something more productive than sitting here and bothering me? You didn’t even hide your entrance here did you?” She had been very careful to not be spotted in the cameras, keeping to the shadows and hiding her face. She didn’t need Matt or that other security guard poking their noses around here, because for once she hadn’t planned on causing trouble.
WORDS?! I dunno. Not nearly enough
TAGGED?! Kokomo
LYRICS?! numb by linkin park
MOOD?! Munchy
NOTES?! I love Mo’s insults
CREDIT?! dreamer boy of caution 2.0! don't steal!
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Post by Mizumi Halna on Apr 29, 2011 19:01:12 GMT -5
Really – did she have nothing else to say? Mizumi felt the lingering disappointment, but he tried to brush it aside. After all, there was no chance the girl could stay like this. A broken record with simple insults. At least they were no empty, if she was one of those foolish girls show poke big but never acted, he no doubt would have done far worse – may have even laughed. Not that it mattered. Mizumi heard of this girl – merely him being alive was enough right for her to attack him. Now, the boy was well aware he would be seeing these types in time. The ones who rode on top of their own little world, the ones who felt that because they appeared in a room everyone must bow. The thought almost made him smile – and it showed so slightly. He knew many students here that would rather kill before kneel to anyone. Certainly not some endlessly menstruating little girl. One of those very people lingered in his mind as the girl so smugly spoke to him, and that light smile returned again..
“ I am not a moron – I have been here longer then I am sure hunny.. “ His words trailed off, winching slightly. He really had been here for quite some time. The boy had not really thought about it, but boy did he feel like some old hound to these little wandering puppies. Silently, he wondered how many police cars this girl had been shoved into? Grabbed so roughly and feel the cold metal of the cuffs cut into her skin while trying to wiggle free and run, before they push that breathalyzer towards that horrible mouth. He doubted she understood true trouble – true fear and even sadness as well. But he was not going to say anything. He learned long ago it was best to let these children think that they knew best – it made things far easier for himself, really. Still, his thoughts returned to the matter at hand, how he got here. Well, why was better. After leaving his friends room, well Mizumi hardly planned to return to his own. After all, spending time with the other had made him far too awake – and he didn’t wish to wake up his sweet roommate. He often came here, on nights when he couldn’t sleep – he knew how to slip here easily. Still, he felt it was best to settle the craving to be a beast’s fears.
“I come here often – I know how not to get caught. Besides.. the man who works this shift is familier with me, with my habit to come here when I can’t sleep.. if by some chance I was noticed, he won’t act on it..” His words trailed off and he rested his forehead on his knees. Ah yes, that far too kind man who worked these hours, they had grown to know each other a bit more lately. He was unsure how to feel towards that man. He was kind and sweet – with an adorable son he had heard. However, his apparent adopted son is what bothered the image confusing boy. He was someone that Mizumi had never personally met.. yet he was jealous of him, painfully so. He wished to be that child, to have whatever he had, that Mizumi lacked so greatly that kept the one thing he loved so out of reach. Gently, he lets his head fall back.. mumbling. “ I like it in here at this hour – no people around. It’s nice to just..let everything out.. I am tempted to ask if that is why you are here- but, I don’t like to pry at strangers. It’s just.. creepy.” He frowned.. and nuzzled his face into his knees, gripping his jeans rather tight. He did come here to clear his head – to get rid of these thoughts, to suppress this creeping depression. He couldn’t get it out of his head, the sight of those beautiful blue-grey hued eyes turned away from Mizumi, focused on something, lost in thought.. of something – of someone. Someone that would never be the blonde who watched him so curiously. He knew whom the other was thinking of.. and it hurt him. So much. What did that child have that he didn’t..? Of course, there was the whole cross-dressing gig, but even though it made the hissing kitten beside him bothered, the one who mattered to him loved it so greatly..
“.. wouldn’t suppose you got anything I can hit..?” He fell silent.. than laughed so slowly, shaking his head. Anything.. anything to numb him would be amazing right now.
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no idea ._. || momomomo || outfit || Sorry, had emo muse.[/quote] |
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