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Post by Kohaku R. LeBara on Apr 2, 2011 23:50:56 GMT -5
 ( I am a question to the world )[/font] ( n o t a n a n s w e r t o b e h e a r d )[/color][/font][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Irony, it was an annoying word. It was one that lingered in Kohaku’s life far too often for him to really enjoy it. Growing up in that terrible city, with the background sound of police sirens, it was disgusting, it was ironic that all the times he felt those cold cuffs against his wrists, it was the lingering end of his name that saved him from having the charges filed against him. It was also thanks to that disgusting name, that he met the most beautiful woman. How sad, to know this fact. That if his step-father was not such a mentally unstable fuck, then he never would have met that woman, the one who always made him laugh with just her stubbornness towards his affectionate ways. How worse, the only reason he was not in prison at this moment, was due to a corrupt system of bribes and secret control. It was then, that he, the one that the cops knew, that the gangs and dealers, the mingles about the port knew as the ‘untouchable kid’, vanished. Because one could only be untouchable for so long, and he had something precious with him – that dear child, with the eyes of his mother.
However, he chose to hide in a place filled with criminal youth. Perhaps it was his urge to teach again, something he left back home, or merely because he thought he could help.. but the man couldn’t say he really regretted his choice. After all, he was happy here. Well, not happy, but as happy as one can really get. Honestly, Kohaku was never happy since he last his wife. How can one recover, from losing the only person who could love you, for all the horrible things you are and have done? Only she forgave him. Only she would gently kiss him, tell him that no matter what, she would forgive him, she would be here. However, she is not. No longer is he going t hear those words, hear her whispers of love, see those beautiful eyes. That is what brought him to that night, to that cold metal in his hand and against that man’s head. He didn’t care about anything he said, the pleas, the begs, the glares and threats. He didn’t even talk that night, except to tell the man that he didn’t deserve this world. Filled with his death, it’s corruption and evil, he didn’t even deserve it. People like him kept taking away the light, the good souls and the loved ones. He didn’t deserve to breath the air they once did, and he didn’t blink as the slowly darkening scene brightened for a moment.
Staring at his hands, they were gloved with snow lingering on them. There was no blood, there was no scars, there was nothing. No reminder of the past, no reminder of what he had done. Yet he still had his boy – and now his little girl. Neither of them had their mother though, and never would. Kohaku could never let a woman replace cho, he couldn’t say I do to anyone else, that was clear. Yet, the words of love were lingering in his mind again. Kohaku was disgusting, for loving after her. He didn’t deserve it, he didn’t belong in the world of romance and tender love, he was meant to stay out of there, in the dark, in the cold silence without the warm touches and gentle whispers from a lover. After all, he knew how it was going to end. They would get hurt, the ones he loved always got hurt somehow, and he was left here, alone, empty and dying. Oh, how he wished it was true. It was horrible to wish death upon yourself, but Kohaku wished it was true. He wished he was dying and leaving this world, because pride would never let him take his own life, but even then those children would stop him. Perhaps. Then again, they were young, their memories were still easy to twist. It would not be hard to give Mink and Tori to a proper family, for them to grow up in a real home, with real happiness. Better then a murdering emotional shell that they had now. Maybe. Either way, he was still here. Smoking silently, a hand toying with the long hair that was hanging loose on his shoulders for once, unaware how he lost his tie..
[/color][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -( And I'll never be what you want me to be )[/font][/center] ( tag ) Perry
( words ) idk..
( notes ) ko's outfit.
( music ) Radio
( lyrics ) I'm still here -- goo goo dolls
( credit ) ARSON at CAUTION 2.0! [/color][/blockquote][/quote] |
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Post by Peregrine Michelangelo Todd on Apr 13, 2011 19:28:14 GMT -5
YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES if ten million fireflies lit upTHE WORLD AS I FELL ASLEEP He was honestly growing tired of watching all these kids make out on his screen every night. Lately, he'd been working later than he had been. Days, of course, but some nights as well, and a few of the times, he had worked from six in the morning until five the next. He was tired of working and watching his son's disappointed face when he couldn't stay to hold him until he went to sleep, or read him just one more story. But he was ten years old, and told his dad that he was alright to read them on his own. He didn't mind, really. But his eyes always showed something different, a soft sadness, and Peregrine was tired. He had a break tonight—another all-nighter, as he was concerned of it—and had gone to read him that story, only to find Charlie asleep. He'd taken him to Matthew's room, apologized for the hour, but he couldn't bring him home... He wasn't about to bring him home, while he had to work still. He'd be alone in the wilderness. Who knew what could happen? Perhaps when he was older he would not mind so much as he did, but for now, the thought of Charlie being alone in the cabin, in the middle of the woods, terrified him. What if a bear came along? Or what if a dangerous child escaped from Ridgestone? Or came to it, like those three had? They would likely happen upon his home... Charlie... He was being overprotective. He knew that, and he wouldn't dare blame occurrences for it. He was protective even before...
The hallways seemed desolate, lonely. The taps of his sneakers echoed and made him feel smaller than he already felt in the vast corridors, his shoulders shrinking. He adjusted his uniform hat. He had forgone the dress-shoes. They were highly uncomfortable, and if he were to work for nearly twenty-four hours, then he could at least be comfortable... in his feet, at least. The clothes were still stuffy and he shifted in them to ease the discomfort, but found no haven within them. Upon his trek for a silent place to simply think, he stripped himself of the shirt and left himself with just a wife-beater, white in color, tight against his chest, surprisingly fit with some chub... He wasn't about to say he was the skinniest guy around. He didn't mind it, though. He was normal in appearance, but he was strong, and that mattered to him more than being like some stick in the wind. He slipped his hands into his pockets, the shirt simply resting on his shoulder, bouncing just a bit with each step. He hummed to himself as he walked. Where would he go for the break, he wondered..? The roof... that sounded quite nice... It was cold out, but he was fine. Perfectly fine, really. He'd been here for four years now. He could handle some cold. Still, it was at the cold parts, or stressful, for that matter, that he wished he smoked, if only to warm himself up.
He hadn't expected anyone on the roof.. much less, he hadn't expected Kohaku. Shouldn't the man be in bed at this hour..? He didn't look well... Well, perhaps healthy—or as healthy as Kohaku could ever look—but not.. something was off, that was all. Peregrine frowned, just softly, before he let a smile onto his lips, tilting his head. “Hey, laddie.. what are you doin' out here, tryin' to catch a cold? Scrawny man like yourself.” He chuckled softly and closed the door behind him as he wandered to lean against the railing. He stared out at the scenery a moment. “Are you alrigh', mate..?” He glanced over him, just for a moment, before turning back outward with a smile. “It's late, you should be asleep already.” That man needed sleep, more than most people Peregrine knew. He needed rest, and a good, home-cooked meal, proper and family-oriented... He was positive that his son and daughter would adore eating with him, instead of just eating together. It was a symbol, it was family... it was perfect. Peregrine knew, though, that he had been neglecting his own sons in that regard, and his shoulders dropped at the thought. He needed to make dinner again.. so he could see his sons' sweet faces. Charlie and Dustin, both of them, together, with him. The simple act of eating could mean so much.
- - - - - - - - - - status: COMPLETEtagged: KO-BEAR!words: 746!outfit: UNIFORM, SNEAKERS, UNDER-SHIRT.notes: I LOVE YOU!lyrics: FIREFLIES, OWL CITYcredit: TEMPLATE BY SHAZI ?! AT CAUTION 2.0 |
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Post by Kohaku R. LeBara on Apr 19, 2011 21:54:16 GMT -5
( I am a question to the world ) [/font] ( n o t a n a n s w e r t o b e h e a r d )[/color][/font][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Indeed, something was wrong. It showed more so by the way Kohaku reacted – or, the lack of reaction. Even as the door loudly closed, as the feet came towards him, there were no words from the other. Even as the other spoke, Kohaku’s eyes were down to the roof beneath his feet, a small exhale of smoke escaping from his lips. He did not even need to lift his head to know it was Perry. That aged man who wore his uniform with pride and regret. That is how Kohaku saw him at least, but that is how he saw everyone. All the members of the staff, reject seemed to linger in each of their hearts, in actions and eyes. Be it due to something they said or behaved before a student, or even each other. Nothing ever seemed right with staff here. Honestly, Kohaku stopped caring long ago though. Lately, he did not care for many things. There was no denying the empty feeling within his thoughts, his chest. How pathetic, to be aware of such a thing, and unable to change it.
Sleep, was Perry honestly suggesting such a thing? He would know better then anyone that Kohaku didn’t bother to rest if not needed. Most of the times he allowed himself to sleep were during the moments when his body forced him. The days when he would wake up, his head resting on his half read books and a slight headache to be paired with it. Of course this was not a smart choice, but it was one that Kohaku often made. He knew much of medical facts; he knew well how far the body could go. For a man in his situation, on piled with work and responsibilities, why not abuse the fact of knowing his limit, and the possibility of being able to push it even farther?
The true victims in this situation were not himself however, but his children. It hurt him, as they grew, to know that with each day they were becoming more aware. It was not uncommon for him to wake up with a blanket over his shoulders, and a winch from the man at the realization that it had been from his children, who found their father – once again – sleeping at the table with his work rather then in a bed. What was worse were the scolding he received though. From his co-workers, his friends, even his cousin. Often Craig would, so softly and nervously, ask why is he doing this? He has no reason to push himself so far, what was this punishment for? It irritated him, to hear these words. Everyone seemed to assume he was pushing himself as if he had no choice, but it was his choice. Because Kohaku was well aware that when he was this way – working hard – it kept his mind clear. There was no room for his worries, his fears, his fusses and concerns.
Honestly, deep down, Kohaku knew the truth. He knew that theis was something he couldn’t possibly last with, and he needed to stop. He needed ot talk to someone – but it was impossible. There was nevber, and will never be anyone he could speak with. The single person he spoke so freely to, was one that he could never see. That man could never set foot in his state, it would be a red flag and Kohaku would be setting up a possible danger to the ones he left home for. Of course, there was the option of home, returning there to see the man, but even that was too hard. After all, Kohaku had just returned from home.. and well, his body was proof to the mistake that had been. It had been barely a day or so since he returned, so he could still feel the ache of the fresh, dark marks. Every movement brushed cloth over the reminders, and each moment he held in a winch or flinch. Worse, however, was his arm. No doubt broken, yet still not in a cast. A cast meant questions, ones he could not answer, and then more frustration and hate directed towards him from the people who could not possibly be a friend. After all, a man so broken, so stubborn and closed off can’t have a soul to be near them. No one could stand that, so everyone was a mere co-worker. Someone he saw each day yet was in a different universe then, it seemed.
This was no different with Perry, and he hated to know this fact. He cared for the man, but the care the other felt for him would no doubt turn cold soon, or worse hot with disgust. They always did, it was something he expected and grew to accept too easily. As that thought entered his mind, there was a rare feeling, anger. Not towards Perry, never. He loved the man, he was so kind, always speaking with such care to Kohaku and his children, always trying to help. No, it was for himself. Why, why was he thinking this? He knew better, he really did. After all, Matthew had proven himself to Kohaku, proven that he would not let their tie rot away. The man wasn’t to believe that too, terribly bad he wished to, but something was stopping him. His fears? No, his fears did not involve Matthew, nor Perry. They only evolved his children, and the looming shadow, the ever-present memory of the man who so happily grinned when Kohaku’s wrist made that stomach-twisting crack. Within his anger, well that rested only with himself, for the pathetic fool he was in this moment. There was the sadness as well, that so easily rested with the thoughts of a name he was too nervous to say, with the thoughts of hurting them, of losing them. Yet, he knew he would, how terrible that was, and worse that he was accepting it. He made a promise to stay there, no matter what, even if what he dreaded was true, Kohaku knew he would stay by their side, and mask the pain. That is always how he acted, masking everything.
Where did his happiness lie? No where. It was disgusting, he was at least. Pathetic, weak, this was not him. Kohaku knew himself, this was some horrible puppet. The man knew he was not this weak, he was strong. Always stubborn, always strong. He stood up for what he wanted, he refused to lie down and just ‘accept how things were’, never. He was a content headache to the dean, always bending the rules, taking leaps that could bring him trouble and yet only thinking of the person he was helping. Where did that man go? When did this weak, this trash he had become, turn up? It was all.. painful. A harsh sigh escaped the man.. before he just took focused on taking the smoke into his lungs, something he had sworn to quit.. and closed his eyes, finally speaking. His voice was soft, hoarse. “ I am fine. “ Those horrible words. It was all he ever said. It steered people away, made them not worry, he hated worry.. but he hated being such a fool as well. “ I am restless. ” Such short words, so simple and soft as his eyes stared down at the lingering snow beneath his feet. His head slowly lifted, to stare at the other.. and gently swallow, just focusing on the grounds beyond that railing he approached, gripping it with the cigarette resting between his lips. His right hand gripping the railing tight, till his knuckles turned white, while the left.. rested there silently, enjoying the cold against the dull throb of pain. Was there anything else he could honestly say to this man? He had no doubts there would be, and no doubts that Perry would try to ring them out of him as well. Hm.
[/color][/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -( And I'll never be what you want me to be )[/font][/center] ( tag ) Perry
( words ) idk..
( notes ) ko's outfit.
( music ) Radio
( lyrics ) I'm still here -- goo goo dolls
( credit ) ARSON at CAUTION 2.0! [/color][/blockquote][/quote] |
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