Why Wait {Ko}

[Kohaku R. LeBara]

• •
SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

The man looked at the girl for a moment and just blinked weakly. How strange. Here he thought he had a bit of an issue with working, but the woman was trying to prove otherwise, perhaps he wasn't that bad. After all, he hated Essay's and certainly didn't write them for fun. The fact that Asher did though, well, he found that rather interesting. "..Well, that is quite one othe cutest traits I have heard in a while" Holding in a hum he just softly shook his head in amusement."well.. if there is ever something specific, you can speak bluntly with me. I never mind tlaking with you Asher"

Kohaku raised a brow, not looking away from the woman though the urge was there. Falling a silent, he softy shook his head. "No need.." He finallly looks away from the woman's gaze and gently shakes his head again. "We.. already have a lil' pup. Noodle.." He hesitates a bit. " and kitten, Pepper.." Simply speaking the names was rather uncomfertable, but also feel a bit foolish at himself. Kohaku also found it odd to be talking about his pets. The only ones who knew of them were the students who visted his room, and were greeted by his eager bundle of puppy back home.

The touched eases the male again, his gaze meeting the woman's agian. Giving a soft nod, he let his hand lay over the one on his arm. "You are right.. I have a..habit of over thinking things when it comes ot Mink." Which was strange, he never over thought other things. He always assumed it was simply part of being a parent -- single one no less. "This weekend.. I can escape a bit from work and such.." Yes, he could indeed escape. That, or make Craig do his work. For some reason it was rather fun bullying his cousin when he got the chances, after all that was Craig's main affections towards Kohaku, that irritating bullying.

"Merci Asher.." He spoke the words softly, actually offering a smile to surface for once. The woman truly was too kind to him, but it was a nice change of pace from the usual treatment and air he always felt. Letting his hand fall away from the one on his arm he just slowly sighed. "I..am sure I fuss too much. I suppose.. I wam just scared, of being a bad parent..aren't we all?" Kohaku was terrified of being a bad father, something he swore he would never become -- he didn't want to be like Darroll. At teh same time though, with a son like Mink, he had a feeling that he was doing well for the moment. After all, the boy was clever and sweet, though a bit shy. He was more then Ko could ever hope for.

TAGGED ! Asher
WORDS ! 967
OUTFIT ! =w=; that looks horrible but whatever
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! D8 Sorry for Spelling Errors!! Wrote this one wooord pad

[Asher LeBeau]

Asher smiled faintly and nodded, chewing her lip as she thought, listening to Ko's words with a blank mind, before turning them over and over as she thought about their meaning and what Ko wanted from life. Life was only as complex as you made it, right down to all the people you were around. Then again, only they could make their choices, but how you reacted was entirely up to you. It was a complex system that appeared so simple, something that not even the greatest thinkers could understand.

Ash smiled up at Kohaku, returning the expression before nodding, leaning up to kiss Ko's cheek in a friendly manner. Asher was rather expressive about her emotions unless she was upset, then she just forced everything back and it took someone very close to her to be able to tell when indeed the woman was upset. At the moment, she was rather at ease with Ko, seeing as she liked to speak to him and listen. It was rather comforting to have someone else near her that she could speak freely to and not be judged for leaving the father of her son.

Letting off a small giggle at the pet names, she offered up a sparkling smile. "That is rather...adorable," she said, laughing faintly. "I'm afraid Nico doesn't have the attention span for a pet, so that is something that will come later, if his.." she trailed off there, shaking her head as if she did not wish to regard that single thought.

"Perhaps when he is older and understands more the responsibility associated with a pet," she said, changing the sentence from earlier. It was hard now, for her, to think about having Ian in Nico's life, but it was something that was certainly unavoidable while she was here. She wasn't going to run again, especially now after the two had met. That wasn't fair to Nico, and she always put her son first...which raised a slight question in her mind.

"Kohaku," she murmured, letting her gaze shift to somewhere over his right shoulder, "...do you ever feel that what is the right thing for your son is sometimes the most terrifying thing for you?"

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[Kohaku R. LeBara]

• •
SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

Simply by the woman's words, he knew what direction--the person. Kohaku found himself frowning as he realized this fact, truly wishing he didn't. That man, Ko really couldn't stand him. Even now, without his presence, he was causing issues. It was a bit obvious to Kohaku when Asher thought of the man. She always got that look in her eyes, the single time he didn't enjoy those eyes. He preferred them when she was smiling, eased--not like this, it didn't suit the woman. He wanted to do something, anything to make her better, but couldn't. Instead he just stood there, watching her with a rather worried expression.

The question took him by suprise, and threw him off balance really. Yes, of course. Only yes could be the answer to that question. He knew that feeling, so much. It showed up in his life occasionally, and every time it killed him. For the woman no doubt it involved Ian. It was the same for Kohaku, involving someone he once loved--and still did. He doubted he could ever stop. Though shamefully it no doubt would leave him in his isolated state forever. Then again, there were people breaking through though, like Asher.

"..Yes.." The reply was soft, barely heard if they weren't standing beside each other. His eyes stared at the ground, nodding to his words. "..it's about Ian ..right?" He hesitated. "Asher.. the right thing, is never the easy thing." He understood how the woman was feeling, at least he hoped so. After all, he still remembered the feeling from that day with Mink--when he had to explain to his son why mommy was only in pictures. Having to explain something like death to a child is something that shouldn't be allowed. It just shouldn't happen. Of course, there were other times. When Mink asked why they couldn't auntie, cho's sisters, and he had ot make an excuse. He couldn't explain to such a small child that they could never go back to that home. That they were in Alaska to hid. He had left solely for mink, left the only home he ever had to project his son.

Gently touching her chin, he made the woman look at him for a moment. Just holding her gaze, he spoke softly in hopes of easing her once more. "Are you still scared about letting Ian in Nico's life...? Asher.. You aren't alone, I hope you realize that. No matter what the right thing is, and no matter what you choose.. you will have support along the way.." his words drifted off, merely looking at her. He couldn't help feeling some relief as he spoke, and hopeful. He truly wanted to help the other,that is what friends were for after all. ".. I won't let someone I care about go through something so hard alone. Please.. I will help you with this, with anything you need.. be confident.. it suits you wonderfully."

TAGGED ! Asher
WORDS ! 967
OUTFIT ! =w=; that looks horrible but whatever
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! D8 Sorry for Spelling Errors!! Wrote this one wooord pad

[Asher LeBeau]

IT was a quiet moment and she blanked, fearing what the answer might be. She was worried about Nico and how her sone would take it. He was used to Asher being the only one and Ian living in pictures, so now that Ian was a real person, not just someone from his mother's memories, Ash couldn't bear to take him away.

And it wasn't just because of her son. Ian's aunt had a streak that wouldn't allow the woman to hurt Ian again. Rule number one you learned in Italy: Don't piss off the gypsies.

Asher sighed faintly and crossed her arms over her chest, listening to him before nodding slightly. "...it is. But that's not the only thing," she said softly. "I was the one who ran, Ko. I made him what he is now, whether indirect or direct," she said softly, her voice almost a whisper. She chewed her lip harshly, almost breaking the skin, and knew that if she continued, she would indeed break the skin.

Sighing softly when Ko made her look at him, she nodded once. "Thank you, Ko," she murmured, hesitant. "I...spoke to him and he's interested in being a part of Nico's life...he's met Nico, but I just don't know if I can handle it," she said, voice soft. It was one of the few topics she ever had that made her feel close to crying and Asher rarely cried.

"...His family is coming to visit soon, and they already know about Nico. I'm just worried what this is going to mean because Ian also loves someone else. He wants a family and kids, but He also wants everything to be like a storybook," she said softly. Asher didn't really know what she felt for the man. He had been her best friend and sole companion at one point, but things had gone bad and it had been her fault.

Running a hand through her hair, she sighed and felt like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Smiling faintly up at Ko she nodded. "Thank you, Ko. It really does mean a lot for me," she said softly. Looking at him directly, she arched an eyebrow.

"What makes you hate Ian so much? It can't be because of the past he and I share. Why do you hate him?" she asked, her voice, soft and eyes curious. She had an inkling of the answer, but she wanted to hear it from Ko.

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[Kohaku R. LeBara]

• •
SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

“Asher..” The male looked at his female friend, simply watching her for a long moment. Did she truly think that? Kohaku couldn’t believe such. People had control over their own lives, they could control who they became. At least Kohaku hoped so. Of course his wife had changed Kohaku, but not so drastically. She simply made him more calm, and after her death he tried to deattach himself from emotions—but that was a trait of his, to try and sever all emotions with things were too hard to handle. Frowning, he replied to her words. “You couldn’t have caused the actions he is doing now though.. You ran yes.. things would have been different had you not, but what does that matter now? We can’t change the past.. You didn’t make him what he is.. he had a choice in the matter, he chose to change..” His words were soft, and to a point almost seeming pleading. He didn’t want asher to blame herself, it wasn’t right.

Despite her assuring him that Ian wanted to be in Nico’s life, Kohaku still doubted. His actions sure proved his wants, which was all Kohaku could think. Just touching her hand was more, in attempt to give her some comfort, the male wasn’t sure what to say, so he simply stuck to speaking bluntly, as he had been doing with the entire conversation. Thinking was just a issue at times like this, his bluntness ever failed or worked, so he felt it was best to at least give it a shot. “Nico... it’s good for a boy to have his father—but if that father isn’t right.. then it may not be worth the trouble it’s causing.” He paused, himself unsure of his words and it showed just as much. He really was a hypocrite to talk about bad fathering.

“Nis” He spoke the name at the end of her words, well aware of Ian’s actions with the student. It was quite obvious what was going on between that pair by this time, though it seemed no one truly wanted to say it boldly, with the new rules and such. He kept his hand over the girl’s still, unable to look away from her, concern deep as he tried to think this all over. Is this all the things she was really worrying about? He didn’t blame her for seeming stressed out. Giving a faint nod to the storybook comment, he resisted rolling his eyes. Storybook, please. He had grown up on the wrong side of hell, he learned oh so early there was nothing like happy endings or fairtytales. The world was a very dark place, the lucky people simply got to stand in the light and ignore the dark though. Seeing too much in this short life, Kohaku gave up on thoughts of happiness till the end and free rides in life.

The girl’s smile almost hurt the man, and so deeply he wanted to hug her, just embrace the woman until all this sorrow and pain was gone. He loved when her smile was easy, when she didn’t look so tired..so upset. Kohaku knew he couldn’t just wish these things again—he would still hope though, but not pray; he never prayed anymore, not before he hit even early teens. False hope wasn’t his thing.

Her question caught him off guard, and Kohaku found himself inwardly winching. He knew this was coming eventually, he just hopped he could evade it as he did other questions. He wouldn’t though; in fact he rarely did that sort of things with Asher. Ko found he was actually quite honest with her, not slipping around the questions as he did with every other person. Just giving a sigh, Ko took back his hand and places them on his hips as his gaze finally fell away. “Several reasons..” He paused, unsure how far to elaborate. “..If it makes it better, I don’t neccerally hate him. Just dislike him more than anyone at this school.” His hatred was saved for Darroll alone after all, he wasn’t going ot ruin that record now. Besides, Ian had one or two good points Ko had to keep mind when wanting to so dearly knock the man. Kohaku would never hit anyone though, being a pacifist and what not. “I don’t approve of his actions.. if you will settle with that” he hesitated, feeling it was a bit too open and added “with you and Nis. I think it’s..terrible. Disgusting? Perhaps not.. but still terrible.”

Yes.. Ian and Nis; it wasn’t something Ko could ever approve, no matter what useless argument he tried to put up about the situation. Kohaku made mistake with a student, but it was only once. There was no emotion attachment or dependency. To gain that from just a child, while the other is an adult.. it disgusted Kohaku. He had been in Nis’ shoes at one time—though not as deeply. The one he loved had been so many years older and treated him beautifully. He clung to them in his youth, too young to realize that their actions weren’t that right. Perhaps he did know though, and just didn’t want to admit it. Their relationship carried through years though—he was almost a surrogate father when Ko’s would lock him out of the house or refuse to pick him up from the police station. He and that man were different from Ian and Nis though. Even though he truly had loved Dane, he wasn’t about to go off and do something moronic is ‘the sake of loving him’.

Kohaku knew Nis’ type. It was only a matter of time before his love for Ian caused danger to himself. He could understand the child’s attachment though. There was something wonderful about being in the arms of someone older, someone you trusted—it made one feel accepted, wanted.. and what more could children like Nis, and who Kohaku had been, want than to have a place to belong? Even if that was in the arms of an older lover. Still, he couldn’t justify Ian’s actions. It was wrong. At his age, Kohaku was far more mature then most his age. He was already raising his youngest friend who was orphaned and helping take care of another ill friend who had his day numbered. Kohaku had a job and barely lived at home at a disgustingly young age—Nis was still just a boy. It had to stop before something bad happened, but it wasn’t like Kohaku would dare to speak to Ian about the matter—or any matter at all.

What he truly, truly disliked about the man though, was his words didn’t match his actions. Asher said Ian asked be part of his son’s life, and yet he was, playing with some student. If he truly cared, he would devote himself to a single person. Kohaku knew it was an old fashion mindset, but it was right. It wasn’t fair, that parents like Ian got away with their actions, flittering between two people and hurting them both and yet promises love, while truly devoted parents, people who never caused pain like that were the ones who suffered. The world was such a horrible place in these generations and years. Sighing, he looked up at Asher, weakly shrugging his shoulders as he weakly brushed his hair back. “Ian is going to hurt either you or Nis. If he hurts Nis.. he will be in horrible trouble and suffer the consequences. If he hutrs you.. I will make sure he still gets those consequences..” Kohaku fell silent fast, not sure if he should have said that. He did though, and he didn’t regret it. He wasn’t going to let Ian make Asher upset, at least he would try his best.

TAGGED ! Asher
WORDS ! 1300 something
OUTFIT ! =w=; that looks horrible but whatever
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! HOLY FUCK LONG

[Asher LeBeau]

Ash merely stayed still, focusing her attention on the patterns she picked out in the floor. It was something that kept her focus, keeping her together instead of letting her break down and sob like she so desperately wanted to do. This whole thing had started with her apologizing to Kohaku for what had happened and now here she was, dumping all of her worries and concerns out on him. It wasn’t really fair to her or him for doing this, but he was the only one who had a child here without a partner.

She was worried, uncertain of what she was doing. Asher had made a decision long ago, when she first found out she was pregnant, that in order to make her son happy, she would put herself through hell. She thought it had been hard a while ago with explaining who his father was and why he only lived in pictures, but now, with Ian actually here and interacting slightly with his son, she was the one who actually was suffering.

Asher cared about Ian, yes, but she didn’t love him. That much she knew. She cared about Ian as a friend and the father of her son, but she knew that he wasn’t healthy for her doing the stunts he had been pulling. Chewing her lower lip harshly, she could have sworn she tasted blood. Wincing slightly at the thought she, released her lip and raised her free hand to her lip.

Sighing faintly, she nodded, listening to Ko’s every word. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, forcing her chin up and shoving her emotions back under wraps, except for the bright pain in her eyes. Everything else about her screamed that she was okay, even the smile she forced on her lips. “I look like an idiot here, dumping all these worries on you when I came here to apologize for the other night. I shouldn’t have unloaded my problems onto you,” she said, shaking her head, keeping that blasted smile in place.

It was something that she always did, hid her emotions when she felt that she was being too needy or clingy. Asher never asked for things when she knew she needed them, too used to being on her own and just having to fend for herself. But now that she had a son, she needed to expand beyond her and focus on what he needed. It was hard, but she forced the questions and the emotions back behind a wall, somewhere she wouldn’t accidentally let them out.

Listening to Ko talk about why he didn’t like Ian, she nodded. She’d never really thought about it before, merely trying to sort out her own fucked up thoughts and emotions while striving to keep her own façade on her face, and her son happy. Nico was the only thing that mattered to her, if he was happy and he could do what he wanted to do. Asher would do anything for her son, even if she was miserable in the end.

Running a hand through her hair, she squared herself up and met Ko’s eyes once more, smiling faintly through a faint shimmer before nodding. “…but thank you, Ko, for everything,” she said softly.

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[Kohaku R. LeBara]

• •
SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

It was something Kohaku had wanted to ask, for so long. Did Asher love Ian? He never asked such words though, he didn’t want to place the woman in a bad situation. He stuck to understanding situations and trying to find out the answer himself. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her to love that man, after all Kohaku was merely a friend of hers and had no choice in others lives, he only wished for the answer so he knew how deep the woman’s situation had become. Kohaku knew he worried too much for the other, for any others really. It was just his personality. It was the reason why he didn’t mind when students came to his apartment to escape the reality of their lives for only a bit, the reason why he almost had a heart attack when Blake collapsed and why he hardly left Icarus’ side when his heart failed and he was in the infirmary for a few days. Rowan had scolded him greatly, that time with Blake. She warned him to not get close to students, that it would not be good. The man had gotten frustrated at the time, arguing the woman was out of her mind and just focus on the girl in her care. That stupid bear was right though. He was getting far too close with his students. He couldn’t help it though.

He cared for these misbehaved runts more than people realized. Despite his cool treatment towards Ashton normally, nothing kept him from trying to comfort the boy when his tears fell—for good reasons that is. Even with students like Sano and Ask, despite his rather bad moments with them, he still had such hope in them and such. It’s why he always gave them detention, extra work as well as physical. In the background, he was using these detentions for their files. The physical labor, such as cleaning parts of the building and whatnot he put as their offer, as their ‘community service’ during the school. The papers he put in as extra credit, work they were offered and took. Kohaku had done this a few times, but only with a select few. His actions wouldn’t change much of course, just merely make the boy’s better off in a future. He didn’t do this for every student though, only the ones in whom he saw hope.

Frowning at his thoughts, the woman’s apology brought him back down to earth. Merely watching her a moment, the frown remained. She had no reason to say sorry damn it. None of this was her fault. “You have nothing to be sorry about Asher. Certainly not for the other night.” He took the smallest step forward and gave in to his urges, letting his arms move around the woman to gently embrace her. Kohaku realized once against how small Asher was, and Ko felt almost awkwardly tall. Still, he held the woman close, his eyes closing as he light sighed.

The woman truly had no reason to thank him. If Kohaku could make all her pain go away, make things better and such, then things would be in the correct s situation, but not like this. The smile she had given him, it hurt. He had seen that smile before, and he hated it. Kohaku couldn’t express the feeling of hurt when he saw that look—that smile during the pain that said ‘everything is alright’, he was terrified of that look. He wasn’t sure if the woman was one to bottle up, or to simply ignore the issues, but either way wasn’t good. “Asher.. you can speak to me about anything. I really don’t care if you tell me anything, nothing or everything.. I simply wish to help you..” He whispered the words, softly kissing the top of the girl’s hair. It was a force of habit, all these small and sweet gestures. Hell, half the time he wasn’t even aware he was doing them.

“Asher..I may be utterly wrong.. but don’t shoulder all this yourself. It’s alright to lean on others..to share it with people in whom you trust” He fell silent after that, simply holding the woman close to his chest and dark eyes lightly shut. This was all a damn mess it seemed.

TAGGED ! Asher
WORDS ! rawr
OUTFIT ! =w=; that looks horrible but whatever
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! RAWR

[Asher LeBeau]

(I'm Not A Princess)

(This ain't a fairytale)

The hug was completely unexpected from the man. It was what sent her over the edge and made her form tremble as she tried hard not to cry. It was almost as if she were unaware of just how close she was to the edge until that moment. For her, she tended to focus on everyone else than herself, not wanting to look like she was as frail as she felt sometimes. It was not a good thing, for her to be that close to the edge and not quite realizing it; or perhaps realizing it and refusing to acknowledge it.

This was slowly destroying Asher. She couldn’t handle Ian being upset about Nis and handle her son who wanted to be around his father and Ian silently pushing her to come back to her so they could have a family. It was too much for her, even though she had sworn she would do anything to make her son happy. Playing mommy to a few students as well as her own son and Ian half the time was stretching her too thin and she was going to be destroyed.

A heartbeat later the tears broke free and trailed down her cheeks before she practically buried herself in Ko’s chest, feeling like she was drowning in the emotions that she’d bottled up and ignored inside her. She barely heard his words before she bit her lip and brought one hand up to attempt to swipe the tears off her cheeks, to stop the flow but failing miserably. Good thing she never really wore make up, no?

Her thoughts were in chaos at the moment, knowing that it was the only way she could stop her own destruction. She just had to separate herself from Ian, even though it was hard, but she knew that the only way to save herself was to let Ian be Nico’s father and nothing else. She couldn’t be in a relationship with him, she didn’t know if she ever could, but at the moment, it was her own thing that she had to do.

When she finally did speak, her voice was soft, almost broken and certainly did not belong passing over the lips of someone who was normally happy and bubbly. “…Thank you, Ko. I thought that doing what was the right thing for Nico, but it was destroying me inside and I never wanted to think about it,” she said. “I don’t love him, I don’t know if I will, but I can’t handle him coming to me upset about Adonis and completely ignoring Nico while he’s upset.”

It hurt to say those words, mostly because she had grown attached to Ian as a friend, but upon realizing just how badly she was hurting from it all and just how close she’d been to the edge. It was destructive, she knew now, her relationship with Ian. She needed to step back and find something that made her happy, whatever that might be.

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[/color] She's crying...
Outfit;; Clothes. =w=
Music;; In class
Tag;; Ko!
Credit;; made by lelegirllele of CAUTION TO THE WIND
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[Kohaku R. LeBara]

• •
SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

The moment he heard the sob, it felt like something had stab Kohaku. He lightly winched and found himself holding the woman a bit closer. Again, he was remind of just how small she felt in his arms and how fragile. Kohaku wasn’t going to think of the woman as some porcelain doll, he knew much better than that, but it didn’t stop him from wondering why there wasn’t someone protecting this girl. She was so warm in her smiles, so vulnerable in her actions. Asher was a begging towards fate for it’s cruel hand. That was something Kohaku had learned early on, that the ones whom smiled the brightest tended to hurt the most. Perhaps that is when he stopped smiling, in hopes that the pain would stop; perhaps it was the realization that pain would never stop that has lately been urging him that smiling wasn’t as painful as he thought for these years. He didn’t care for his own smile, and at the moment only Asher’s.

Her tears he couldn’t handle, she didn’t deserve to cry. Kohaku almost felt sick, from the hot knot that tugged in his chest. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to punch that man, the one whom was causing all this pain. He wasn’t though, but that didn’t mean Ko wasn’t going to deal with him at a later date. Giving a low breath, Kohaku embraced the girl a bit more, gently nodding to the words she ushered.

“Asher.. Children are so smart..” The words were just a whisper, regretting his own words. His mind filled with Mink, how the boy always seemed to smile no matter what. Even after that time with Kagi, when Pere had brought Mink home to him. He paniced, since he knew Mink had been with Mink. He was only told what automatically made him assume Kagi, that horrible man had something to do with it. He had took Mink inside and cradled the child, fussing over him but the boy just smiled after a while and it killed Kohaku. The last thing he needed was mink taking his habit. Of assuring people everything was perfect and fine, when he was barely able to stand everyday without shattering to worse than shards from the pain and stress. He didn’t want his son to take up his traits, and the last damn thing he wanted was to see Asher having to deal with her lovely boy taking traits from that man.

A hand gently stroked the woman’s hair, eyes staying closed and almost afraid to open them and face the cold, cruel place in which they stood. “You.. ‘m sorry.. but I don’t think he is a good influence.. the worse thing to happen is him.. take after Damian..” He mumbled the man’s words with a sigh, softly kissing the girl’s temple and his hand found its way to her wrist to pull the hand away from her face. “Asher.. it is alright to let it out.. letting it build up is the bad thing” He spoke the words in an attempt to reassure the woman, his hand not on her wrist merely wrapped around her slim body. It felt nice to hold another against him, the heat between them gentle against the sharp cold of the Alaskan climate.

Kohaku knew the current situation was going to fall to the flames of hell. He knew well those flames were harsh and unforgiving; they would burn those even close to the victims. Kohaku didn’t want Asher and Nico to be those burned when Ian slipped with Adonis. It made him feel disgusted with himself almost, to know such a situation was going to happen and yet he made no move to stop it. Adonis, no doubt would be sent to Kye. There was hope in the fact ath they man was a damn angel and could perhaps help the poor lost child.. and Kohaku would lend Kye as much help as was needed; he owed him as much. As for Ian, Ko knew he would merely stand aside and watch the man fall hard. As much of a gentle side he showed to children and to this woman now, he still had a stone cold side that was unforgiving. He didn’t hate the man though. He surprisingly hadn’t fell so low to Kohaku’s eyes.

Merely whispering the girl’s name once more, Kohaku gently nuzzled her hair slightly before taking her chin into his hand and merely gazing at her. He took a sharp breath and held it, his own fingers softly brushing her wet cheek with the lightest smile, his eyes gentle and worried; and yet there was relief in them. “You are so strong.. but it is stronger to let yourself cry Asher.. “ He paused, unsure of his next words. “I will support you through whatever you choose.. I wish to always be of help to you and Nico” The last bit was such a whisper, though all his words were soft much was his usual speech. Soft spoken with sharp words, but tonight his words were simply gentle and in his hopes, helpful.

TAGGED ! Asher
WORDS ! 850 something
OUTFIT ! =w=; that looks horrible but whatever
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! ... this sucked. 'm barely awake. I srsly wrote hald of them with my eyes closed =w=;; sorry..ilu

[Asher LeBeau]

(I'm Not A Princess)

(This ain't a fairytale)

The man should have known damn well better than to hug a female that was just on the verge of crying. Girls always cried whenever someone was nice to them and Asher was no exception to it. She couldn’t help it, wanting to be strong and not let anyone see her cry. Hell, she couldn’t really remember the last time she cried, even after she’d found out she’d been raped and drugged. There was too much shock for that and even after it wore off, she didn’t take a normal reaction. She was angry and spitting fire, hell bent on carving out her own existence.

She probably didn’t really even cry when her adoptive mother died. Asher had been through a lot in her short life, from being place in foster care at birth to having adoptive parents who really didn’t care so long as she didn’t shame them and was still alive. On the plus side, they were really the ones who found out just how smart she was and pushed her towards the excelling in school, mostly to keep her out of trouble.

Asher almost swore under her breath, but Ko was being too nice to her and all she could do was try to stop crying, thinking that all she would do was just get his shirt wet. Asher didn’t think even Ian had ever seen her cry out of sadness, but she’d cried from laughing so hard before. Ian at the mercy of his sisters was downright hilarious. And those thoughts brought on a fresh wave of tears, and her trying to duck away from Ko’s gaze.

She winced away from Ko’s words, listening to him say that Nico shouldn’t take after his father and that if he did it would be bad. Asher knew deep down that right now, Ian was not the best influence on Nicolae, but he had wanted to be a father so badly, Asher had decided to give him his chance. She hadn’t weighed in on how it would tear her apart slowly inside. Ian was not forcibly pushing her towards his fantasy, it was there in the way he held Nico, but looked at her, the answers to Nico’s questions, the way he watched her. It was all there, slowly pushing her towards breaking and downright destruction between them.

The way Ko held her, like she was fragile and would shatter into a million pieces, it snapped her back to reality, forcing her to stop the tears, to gather herself up, her free hand reaching up to wipe away to tears on her cheeks, and to push her hair out of her face, blinking rapidly a few times to stem the flow of tears. “…Thank you, Ko, but life is never fair and I know that very well,” she said faintly.

Shaking her head, she felt that she couldn’t keep crying and instead she needed to buckle down for her son. “I can’t cry in front of my son and I need to have a strong front for him, especially if I’m going to tell him that he is not going to be seeing his father as much and I have to tell Ian that he is not going to see his son until he straightens up and gets his act together,” she said, voice still sounding like it was going to break down totally.

Risking a glance up at Ko, her eyes were troubled and cloudy, dulling the normal amethyst color to almost a dark blue, which some people often mistook her eye color to be. She chewed her lip harshly, ignoring the sharp pain when it turned cherry red from the action, becoming bruised and battered.

“I don’t know if I can do this, even with your help, Ko,” she said, dropping her gaze to stare at his shoulder. “I can’t take seeing Nico’s face when I disappoint him.”

[/size]

[/color] Sad ;-;
Outfit;; Casual
Music;; None
Tag;; Ko~
Credit;; made by lelegirllele of CAUTION TO THE WIND
[/ul]

[Kohaku R. LeBara]

• •
SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

Unfortunately Kohaku knew the dangers of hugging a sad woman, but he couldn’t help it. His little sister was the only real woman he had around. Of course there was his mother, but Ko never spoke of her. Cho was the first time he really had a woman in his life, several if you count her sisters, and the first time he had to deal with the emotions that come with them. He wasn’t bad at dealing with them though… After all Taiyo cling to him hard and Aya, despite her cruel words and actions always liked him. That was the last thing they spoke of actually. Ayame, with his heavy breathing was laughing at Kohaku and sneering at him for the worry in his voice, the shake on his words. Aya assured Ko that she was proud to have him as family, which meant a lot coming from her. She was almost as much a beast as Rowan most of the time. His thoughts turned to Aya’s children, her sweet boy and girl. They were now in the hands of her godfather’s (the only father she ever had) lover.

Briefly for a moment he wondered why women held in their tears, but he knew why perfectly. When being embraced.. your body just felt so warm, so safe. Being held gave someone that last bit of security they needed, that last bit of coxing before they shattered in the hands of the one who was caring for them, the one who would help them stand again. That is what Kohaklu had remembered thinking back in his youth. Ko wasn’t in his youth anymore, and he couldn’t remember the last time he cried. Well, that was wrong, he certainly remembered when, it was about nine years ago.. never a tear since. It hurt him to admit he didn’t even cry of the passing of his wife, but she had begged him not to. He obeyed, like he always did when it came to that woman..

Kohaku seemed to have a trait of getting himself in odd situations with woman. Apparently now was no different. Just shaking his head, he softly stroking the girl’s hair once before just looking away as well. “Oh asher..” He weakly whispered the words. “ You can’t always protect him from your emotions.. he will see them whether you hide them or not.. trust me..” He winched at his words lightly, having already learned the hard way that he couldn’t hide his pain from his sweet, clever little boy. It killed him when Mink came to him during the night and shuffled into his lap, and just sat there, hugging his shirt tight. He knew the boy was fussing and he had put the child in that situation, despite all the layers and layers he put up to try and hide it from him. He just..knew.

“.. I think that may be a good idea.. just.. “ His words trailed off, not even sure what to say. “You can do this Asher. You are a brilliant woman.. no doubt a brave one. “ he frowned softly, just hugging her close once again. “With a mother like you, Nico will grow into a wonderful young man.. no parent has a easy path when raising their babies.. so please, don’t be so discouraged. You are a much better mother then many of those I met..” He fell silent at the last words, not having anything to say. He merely shook his head, softly kissing Asher’s tear stained cheek gently. “Things will work out in the end Asher.. and who is to say you won’t find Nico a father one day, yes? Just.. “ He sighed “You will get through this I promise.. and I promise I will make sure that happens. Alright..?” He spoke as reassuring as he could, feeling oddly eased in the current situation. For some reason, to him things had seemed to calm, his mind was at ease instead of mauling in thoughts and fussing. It was blank for once, merely speaking the words as they fell, his actions on impulse and instinct. He trusted his instincts.. he just hoped Asher would trust her own.

TAGGED ! Asher
WORDS !699 something
OUTFIT ! =w=; that looks horrible but whatever
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! ... Ko. sucks. *goes to curl up cause it's 4 am and eyes BUUURN* .. >w> probably from how much ko sucks